Our DD1 was a surprise, so there was hardly any time to plan. Like you, I work for myself (in fact, so does DP, so that put an added pressure on us). I had been doing it for a few years before DD came along, but the drop in my income while I couldn't work much was a big stress on us, financially and otherwise. I would have much preferred to be able to plan a bit better, but it wasn't the baby that was the issue, ITMS. It was not being able to work much on my side. This time around, because I have been doing this for much longer I have good working plans in place for the period post-baby. Plus, the maternity leave payment is now available, which will be an added bonus.
You can get so much on loan or given to you for your first baby that it doesn't have to be an expensive time from that point of view. MadB is right that as they get older it starts to cost more! But by then, you've had time to sort out how you manage and it's not really something you can plan for before being pg anyway. So much can change.
Ironically, the big things, like a new car, etc, we seemed to still manage, just sticking within pretty much the same budget as we'd always had. It was just my work that we needed to learn to manage, as well as caring for a baby, toddler, preschooler, etc.
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