How would you feel if someone owed you money and declared bankruptcy because they didn't have the guts to work hard and repay it?
Shoot me for saying it but I think that declaring bankruptcy in your situation is a total cop out and really really selfish.
You will have trouble getting a mortgage, renting, buying goods on payment plans, getting a loan for a car, getting some jobs, connecting to services like electricity and home phone. Don't just think about what you are doing now - imagine where you want to be in 5 years time and ask yourself if you will have wanted to do any of those things. Declaring bankruptcy is a major step and not to be entered into lightly. It also sounds to me like it won't actually solve the problem - your DP clearly has money management issues. Lifeline offers financial counselling and so do other organisations - I think that it would be a really really good idea if he went to something like that.
Here are some other options (taking into account that I don't know your exact circumstances so some may not be relevant:
Contact everyone you own money to and work out payment plans with them.
You can get a new job
He can get a second job
Cancel your mobile phone plans and go to prepaid (and only use it in emergencies)
Move into cheaper accomodation - a single room in a share house is cheaper than living just the two of you - or move in with relatives
Make you lunch before you go to work every day rather than buying it (a loaf of bread and block of cheese and 5 apples cost $5 for a week rather than double that every day)
sell your car and catch public transport (although I know this can be hard in some parts of Canberra)
Go trough your wardrobe and sell 10 items each on ebay
Cancel your pay TV
Stop buying grog
Don't go to the movies - stay home and watch whatever is on
Every time you go to spend money on anything, ask yourself if you really need it
Also, I don't want to sound and harsher that I already have - but if you are having trouble managing your finances now I am not sure that you should be thinking about TTCing. I really think that this is something that you have to sort out and put behind you before you start thinking about having children.
I really do wish you luck - money troubles in never easy - what makes the difference is how you respond to them.
You are all right! and i totally agree that he is just running away!!!. $3000 is only what he has told me, he has been known to lie and cover up things..
When he gets home which should be in about an hour i am going to get him to call each and every person he owes money to and work out a payment plan, i will sit next to him if i have to! i am beyond angry with him. I told him, well warned him if he EVER got himself into debt that i would leave him, i know its unfair on him seeing as i am the one without a job, but it seems like he stopped paying them long before i lost my job
I think i have been too patient with him, for crying out loud he is older than me which is supposed to make him more mature but it seems like i have to pick up after him all the time. I haven't told my mother yet oh boy she would have a field day with him.
Don't make any decisions before you talk to every single person you owe money to. Don't assume they won't take $x or whatever you have to offer them. TALK to them (or get your partner to talk to them), be straight up tell them the truth, and try to work something out.
Trust me, they DON'T want you to go bankrupt, because they won't get their money, so if you tell them you can afford so much per whatever, a lot of people will work with you to find an amount that is manageable.
Honestly, you'll be ruining your future, not starting it. I see you have PCOS. What happens if you need IVF, and need to get a loan or something to be able to afford it? Declaring bankruptcy will make that impossible for at least 7 years.
Muppity has some great suggestions. I hope you can take that on, and work your way out of the financial troubles.
AND: BUDGET BUDGET BUDGET... don't live week to week, know EXACTLY what is in your account every single day and what it is for. That'll hopefully help stop unnecessary spending, if you know that each dollar has a place to be.
Whatever you end up doing you need to take charge of the household finances. Some people can't be trusted with paying bills & it sounds like your partner is one of them. He needs to avoid bankruptcy if he can as it follows you for years.
i would definitely speak to a financial councillor. THEY will get hold of your credit history, and THEY can also contact all of the people you owe money to, and THEY can negotiate a payment plan or whatever it may be.
ive been there and done it myself. i bought a car ($20,000 loan) then had an accident (no insurance, $13,000) i was pregnant, so not working or looking for work at the time. my only option was to go bankrupt. i would never be able to pay all that money back!
for $3000 i would definitely see what other options there are!
finances can be such an emotional issue for people and very scary too. I think you have some great advice on here already. The only thing that I wanted to add is that even though you only have a 4 year mark on your credit rating and no loans for 7 years, most loan applications ask you if you have ever been bankrupt and that will be with you for life.
The other thing is that if your DP is insistent on declaring bankruptcy - don't let him declare it in your name. If you have joint loans with him, talk to the people you owe money to yourself about what you can do. If you don't have joint loans with him and he wants to declare bankruptcy, just make sure he leaves you out of it. Don't let him mess with your credit rating. You have a choice here because he can only make decisions for himself and his own finances. He can't drag you into it as well, unless you let him as you have to sign all the paperwork yourself to be included.
I really hope that you can work something out. I agree with Leasha - make a budget and stick to it. It might mean that you have to take charge of the finances for a while and not rely on DP to do it. You may have to allocate him $20 a week or something as spending money (if there is room for it in the budget and after all your overdue fees are paid).
There are also other options - there is a clause for accessing super ahead of time if you are suffering severe financial hardship. You will have to meet a strict criteria to do it and I would suggest you also don't enter into that lightly either as it could affect your retirement dramatically, but be aware that it is there and you can contact his Super fund to see what their policy is and how you go about it. See what you can work out without it, but know that there is also that option.
Hope all that helps and good luck with everything.
You need to get to the bottom of the problem. Ask why he was acting like everything's ok when all along it has not been. What is he hiding...where is the money going? What compulsive behaviour have the $$ been spent on...is it just bad budgeting or is there an underlying problem? Drink, drugs, online gaming, gambling, compulsive spending, what else is going on??? If you don't address the reason why the 3K has gotten out of control you won't be able to address the rest of the debt either.
you do not need to see a financial advisor, you need to see a financial counsellor - usually run by your local charith groups.
GL hun, its a rough road but you really need to get to the bottom of it.
and, if you do become insolvent there are lots of things you cant do - but lots of things that you still can. call your local govt agency who runs insolvency in your state and ask for an info pack
That sounds like such a tough situation. It sounds like he has taken out a debt agreement (this is called being insolvent), in which case Fox Symes would not have actually paid out his debt, but negiotated with his creditors so that he can make smaller repayments, and all interest is put on hold, this is done through ITSA, which is a government agency. It means that as long as he is making his payments his creditors cannot chase him for the full amount owing and cannot charge interest.
I am guessing he would be making weekly payments to Fox Symes and they would then be distibuting these payments to his creditors. He would have made initial payments to Fox Symes which covers their fee.
To be perfectly honest I am not sure that there are ANY provisions to be made with this so that you can set up a payment plan if you get behind....as far as I know if you get behind.....that is it. There is absolutely no option to reduce the repayments once you have entered into a debt agreement, it is legally binding, and if you break this agreement at any time it means that the creditors can once again begin chasing you for the full amount you owe INCLUDING INTEREST.....
Taking out a debt agreement is usually the very last option before bankruptcy anyway. The difference is that you still pay back your debt, every cent, where as with bankruptcy you do not. Debt Agreements stay on your credit file for 7 years, but you there are no restrictions on overseas travel or how much you are able to earn. If he goes bankrupt there will be major major restrictions on how much he is able to earn.....
I would be calling Fox Symes STRAIGHT AWAY, because as I said there is no leeway on Debt Agreements, you HAVE to make the repayments....
I don't mean to try and worry you more sweet, it is just how it works. I can't remember who said that you need to check where he is spending his money, but I agree, you really need to find out what the underlying cause is here, because otherwise this will continue.
A lot of people sometimes find themselves in a worse situation when taking out a Debt Agreement because they commit to repayments that are not sustainable. When you are taking out a DA, you need to be really honest in how much you are earning etc so that a repayment plan is worked out that is going to be easy to keep up with.
Last edited by Sweet Bliss; July 16th, 2009 at 10:27 PM.
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finances can be such an emotional issue for people and very scary too. I think you have some great advice on here already. The only thing that I wanted to add is that even though you only have a 4 year mark on your credit rating and no loans for 7 years, most loan applications ask you if you have ever been bankrupt and that will be with you for life.
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