Your child's bank account

[Lulu]

I don't find it odd at all. Both my parents have accounts for the children. It's easier for them to stick money in if and when they feel like it.
Since they are contributing I think they can bloody well do as they please.

What I do find disturbing is that a relationship could be over on the basis of this kind of disagreement.

[saslia]

I don't find it odd at all. Both my parents have accounts for the children. It's easier for them to stick money in if and when they feel like it.
Since they are contributing I think they can bloody well do as they please.

What I do find disturbing is that a relationship could be over on the basis of this kind of disagreement.

:yeahthat:

[Manhattan]

Oh TK sweetie, first of all, big hugs to you I cant believe DP is treating you with such little respect by siding with his parents, and giving you an ultimatum like that. If it was me personally, I wouldnt have an issue with say a Trust account been set up, but i do find it odd that the In laws are trying to set up an account in her name, and without even asking. If I were you, I'd be keeping that BC under lock and key. There are plenty of ways around this issue which dont involve using it.

Hoping and praying that this issue can be resolved peacefully hun

[Indadhanu]

I can see why they might want to open an account - they want to bignote themselves to your DD to (when she's old enough to understand obviosuly) by having their own little stash and saying "Here is money WE gave to you". Ok, fair enough, my grandparents did the same and at the end of the day we have items that we say each grandparent "bought us" because it was "their money" IYKWIM. Not a huge issue. Yeah it might seem silly to have multiple accounts, and in a way it is, but sone people are funny like that and like things to be acknowledged, especially if it does eventuate into a large sum, they probably just want to know that they'll have their feet kissed and their praises sung when the time comes (sorry, my own grandmother issue comin through here LOL!)
I would be telling them you won't be giving them the birth certificate, but you'll go down there with it with them (that way the bank knows who the guardian is ). Really, what bad can come of grandparents putting away some savings for DD?

It's pretty immature and a huge overreaction to say "The relationship is OVER if you don't do this". Thats a terrible thing to hang over you every time you disagree, and if thats his way of controlling your actions, I'd tell him to go move in with his mummy then.

[Jellyfish]

I don't find it odd at all. Both my parents have accounts for the children. It's easier for them to stick money in if and when they feel like it.
Since they are contributing I think they can bloody well do as they please.

What I do find disturbing is that a relationship could be over on the basis of this kind of disagreement.

This is how I feel also. Maybe it is because of the relationship I have with my partner and in-laws; I trust them and I feel that all of the Grandparents me, my partner and the choices we make. I don't feel they do this as a form of gaining control but as their way of supporting DD. They have always said and reassured us that there are no strings; the money is to assist in our choices and their contribution in no way entitles them to weigh in on any decision although if we are after advice they are and always will be there for us. If you feel uneasy about it though then I would trust that feeling. I would be trying to open up the lines of communication; it is unfortunate that your partner has reacted in this way because threats really don't help anyone.

[helle]

I don't find it odd at all. Both my parents have accounts for the children. It's easier for them to stick money in if and when they feel like it.
Since they are contributing I think they can bloody well do as they please.

What I do find disturbing is that a relationship could be over on the basis of this kind of disagreement.

Yeah I kinda of agree... when they start playing around with money I have contributed towards my DDor DS's bank account then I think I'd get stroppy.

It is a bit of a worry though that your DP is blackmailing youw ith your relationship that way. I think when a couple starts a family, or even when a couple become committed, the parents of that child should always show a united front, if there is a disagreement then you should come to a compromise before having a fight infront of PIL/Parents otherwise there are going to be weak points of display that some people have no problem taking advatage of.

Just my two bobs worth GL, I hope everything pans out ok.