Even though I have seen and heard this for years Rouge its fired me up about it too. Ive actually been at a breech birth where episiotomy was discussed before the birth, she said she didnt want it. At the birth (that was going beautifully) he announced he was going to do an episiotomy, so she turned to her husband and said something, cant remember but either a 'what do you think/I dont want this' and the Ob defiantly said back that he was telling her she's having one. I was so angry.

The thing is too, episiotomy also cuts through layer of muscle and as an expert once pointed out to me, Obs are specialists in obstetrics, not muscles. They do a quick stitch up job often without consideration to the muscles. So you hear of women who have bad recovery jobs. And Obs allowed to practice saying things like this to the husband: 'Would you like me to put in a couple of extra stitches for you?' (make her tighter. Grrrr so angry right now.