So much for birthing 'choice'!

[Snacks]

OMG, how stressful for her. I am glad she has you to talk to about it.

Her only other option is to go public... and you guessed it, have the same OB she is seeing now as a private patient.

But does she have to see an OB at all? Is she high risk?
If she goes public it may not be through a special midwife program, but they have to take her and she would likely be seeing the midwives for most of the appointments (unless there is a problem, or unless the Darwin public hospital system is radically different to Sydney's...)

[Tobily]

OMG, how stressful for her. I am glad she has you to talk to about it.

But does she have to see an OB at all? Is she high risk?
If she goes public it may not be through a special midwife program, but they have to take her and she would likely be seeing the midwives for most of the appointments (unless there is a problem, or unless the Darwin public hospital system is radically different to Sydney's...)

This is what I was thinking - if she goes public he would be her OB if there are complications only. If she has a normal pregnancy and labour she wouldn't see him at all. Her appointments would be with middies and they would catch her baby. She may have one appointment with him at 36 weeks since many hospitals do an OB appointment then regardless, but that would be it.

And if she did end up with him at her birth at least she wouldn't have to pay him

[Snacks]

And if she did end up with him at her birth at least she wouldn't have to pay him

Oooooh, yes! Paying him for crappy care must feel like such a slap in the face. That reason alone would be worth it for me!

[Smoke Jaguar]

I'm with RH. I know that freebirthing is still considered an extreme sport (and that's how I consider hospy births :P), yet if she's got ambulance cover, she could do this provided her sister was on board (nothing worse than a fear-monger during labour!), and go to the midwife appointments in the interim if she was felt it necessary.
Otherwise, I'd be dropping this Ob like a hot potato - he clearly considers himself to be a bigger asset to birthing women than he actually is.

[Lulu]

Yeah, drop the Ob.

[Lolli]

This is what I was thinking - if she goes public he would be her OB if there are complications only. If she has a normal pregnancy and labour she wouldn't see him at all. Her appointments would be with middies and they would catch her baby. She may have one appointment with him at 36 weeks since many hospitals do an OB appointment then regardless, but that would be it.

True! I went public, and I only saw an OB twice- once for five minutes as a routine thing because I have SVT, and then during labour because there were complications. If she's not high risk, maybe go public and stick with the midwives as much as possible.

And dust has a good point too- some times private ob care can cause much more fear than is neccessary. A woman in my mothers group is the same size as me- 5'2" and about 55 kilos and her dh is the same size as mine (6'3" and 100 kilos). She was booked in for a c-sect at her first ob appointment simply because the ob said her baby would be 'too big' and she was 'too little'. And that was that. Even when bubs measured up at 7 pound at her last check. She didn't argue- after all, if the ob said it is true, it must be, right?? But she regrets it now.

[Schmickers]

I know, it's disgusting. And unfortunate that there are no independently practicing midwives in Darwin.

I would consider going public. Even if you had some sort of complication I am guessing you are more likely to see the obstetric registrars than the consultant anyway, although there are no guarantees they would be any nicer or more supportive.