4yo DS at the Birth

[damprye]

I'm not sure if this is the right place but I'm sure I'll be informed otherwise and where to move it to if it is not

I would very much like my DS to be at the birth of his sibling. There will be two people that will be able to care for him while I am busy with this one as I know that he would need a guardian and also so he can be taken away when needed.

I was wondering what other people views and experiences are. How has their bonding been affected by your decision?

[PollyA]

I had my 2 year old there in early labour and she dealt with it better than I ever could have imagined. She poured water on my belly during contractions and gently cuddled me between. She played with her carer for a bit and came in seconds after her brother was born. I think as long as you have a back up plan GO FOR IT! It was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had with my DD and it made bringing a new person into our family feel so much more right.

[trishalishous]

For me its not an option (Im high risk) but I attended 4 births as a child, from the age of 5-14. I found it amazing!

[feeb]

As long as you explain before hand and talk about it read books watch births on you tube etc and have someone there for him I think it is great.

Kids at births is very special and amazing for them to be involved, but it isnt for everyone and some hospitals discourage it.

A friend had a homewater birth and her DD! climbed into pool for cuddles with her and DD2 10 mins after birth.

[damprye]

I had DS's birth recorded so he has seen that as well as a couple others. He always gets really excited when the baby comes out If when the time comes, he doesn't want to see, then I will get one of my support people to take him out until it is finished as I know that plans change and I won't get disheartened

[Amy_jellybean]

I personally don't think it is something I could do. I am all for the sibling coming in straight after the birth but I don't think a child should watch their mother going through the pain of childbirth. Please note this is my personal opinion and I know many ppl will disagree and have a different opinion just as they are entitled too

[damprye]

I am looking for views on both sides of the fence so thank you for your input Amy
I'm not entirely sure exactly what I want yet which is why I posted for opinions

[loulabelle]

As long as you explain before hand and talk about it read books watch births on you tube etc and have someone there for him I think it is great.

Kids at births is very special and amazing for them to be involved, but it isnt for everyone and some hospitals discourage it.

A friend had a homewater birth and her DD! climbed into pool for cuddles with her and DD2 10 mins after birth.

Pretty much what I would have said.
The most important thing apart from explaining what is going to happen is that he have a support person just for him and you have that. Go for it!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk so forgive spelling mistakes

[zap]

I wouldn't, as my boys would be terrified I was in pain. Saying that when the time comes for me and I may notdon't make it to hospital in time they might just surprise me!

[LuluHB]

I think it depends on the birth, and obviously you won't know that until its too late! I wouldn't have wanted a child at my first baby's birth, but it would have been fine to have a child at my baby's birth. I agree with pp's that if you are going to do it, make sure you explain to your DS what he might see - eg blood, poo, his Mummy making funny noises, people doing strange things to you etc.

Given that you can't be sure what is going to happen with your birth, I would probably choose not to have my children there for the delivery, but if they could be there within 30 minutes of birth that would be perfect.

[Cassius2]

i had 3 year old DD with us (it was a HB so fairly straightforward in that she was in her own comfort zone ITMS). i found it beautiful and awesome to have her there and to share that moment of transition with her by my side. that said, we did prepare a fair bit with her by showing her books about mum having a baby ("hello baby") and also picking out some birth videos from youtube that were gentle and loving. she really got into it and on the day was pretty awesome. she even worked out how to massage my back during a contraction lol. i felt that her presence was really good also in just distracting me from the contractions (especially early on). we read books, went for a wee walk etc etc. then when my waters broke and it was all exciting to watch her get really excited and happy and running around helping DH get the birth pool ready. we had my mum there to help with leila though, so that when the contractions became quite serious she was able to cuddle leila while i went into my world. but TBH we would of been AOK either way and DD was marvelous.

preparation is key! and i do highly recommend getting your hands on "hello baby" (there is a review section of it in the labour birth thread ).

DD was without a doubt so enthralled to watch her sister in those early moments as she woke up and took in the world around her for the first time and it was just amazing to watch as marta heard her voice in those first few minutes and searched around looking for her...just precious and goes to show how much our baking bubbas can hear and feel of their siblings *mwah*

[beansbeans!]

DD1 was there when DD2 was born. She had no problems with it from what we could tell.
If she didnt want to take interest in it, then she just looked away. We held DH's hand the whole time, and she bonded straight away with DD2.
If we are lucky enough to be blessed with another bub, I will ask them to be with us when the time comes, and let them choose.