Gracie, good on you for deciding that you want a natural birth. What a sad state of affairs it is though that this is an unusual thing to want or plan though.
I had my last baby at home, and constantly got questioned about the drugs and told how brave I was. Simple, there are none !! I don't go into labour with a plan to need pain relief, I have a shower, a bath, massage and that's about it really. It wasn't about being brave either, it was just my choice.
I plan on doing exactly the same for this babies birth and fingers crossed all goes well.
On the other hand hun, if when the time comes that you do need some pain relief there is nothing wrong with that either. Labour and birth hurts, it's as simple as that. It's how you deal with that hurt that's up to you.
Goodluck for your impending birth. I wish you well and hope you come back to post your story afterwards.
Oh BTW, why not have a read through the birth stories on here. Mine is in there somewhere too. Although it will be a little diff to what you may be after, as like I said, it's at home.
Gracie - you're in good company right where you are! Up here in the hills there is change happening in attitudes. Yeah, it's taking its time, but we've got some pretty good people who are all too willing to talk about natural birth to normalise it!
I read Up The Duff and was appalled by its messages. What to Expect wasn't too bad, I did take away some good things about diet (making every bite count...although I didn't eat 100% perfectly, I did a lot of the time!) that I still use now, for breastfeeding. DP read "So, you're going to be a dad" just before we did our HypnoBirthing class (and during our FBC birth classes), and when I read a bit, I asked him not to bother reading it (he hadn't read much of it), because I was not going to have the kind of birth that book prepares you for!
New Active Birth is excellent, as is Janet's Waterbirth (even if you're not planning to give birth in water!). I wish I had read Sarah Buckley's Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering before the birth, but we did well without it.
As much as having a good birth is a great thing because it sets you up better for the next part, you might do well to think abotu the next part, too! So, with that in mind, I would recommend Pinky Mackay's Parenting by Heart, as well as having a good browse through the Ask Dr Sears website.
If you can get your hands on it, I absolutely recommend reading a book called The Vital Touch, by Sharon Heller. Beg, borrow or steal! For me it's a reference point when I start to doubt myself and the kind of parenting I want to do.
All these books get you back in touch with your intuition, because it's always there, it's just often ignored especially where there is peer pressure!
I was scoffed at (sometimes heartily!) when people asked about my intentions for our birth, and I early on developed a retort (either to say in my head, or more often than not out loud), and that is "Bite me". It really helped!
Put it this way, I am surrounded by women who have had one or more children already. They had births I didn't want to replicate. I knew what I wanted and I could picture it. I didn't have their support, but that was ok because I had my partner's support. Here's an honest admission; when my waters broke and we had told the FBC that we were on our way, I had doubts about my ability to stick out my plan. Turns out this was what Kelly has referred to previously as a Crisis in Confidence (or something like that), that happens near or at transition (correct me if I'm wrong!). That's fine, I can deal with that. However, as much as I love my friends dearly, it is with a tinge of bitterness that I recall thinking to myself during this very temporary crisis "Who the hell did I think I was? I was so ****y, I thought I could 'cheat' the system and have this zen birth". I did end up regaining myself and 'cheating the system' anyway, but I really resent that at the last moment, their negativity fed that crisis a little more than it needed and I did feel naive. Thank goodness I had a brilliant midwife who recentred me, and my partner used no words, just actions that brought me back to my aims.
Stick to your game plan and you never know, you may even affect someone in your circle and influence them to believe in themselves more, too.
Actually, you know what would help? I think you should come to the next Vic girls lunch in Ringwood (3 Sept) at the Coach and Horses - it really helps to be in the physical presence of supportive people to give you something to go on! And when you're closer to your due date, consider coming along to the local breastfeeding group of ABA. You'll get heaps of support there, too
Long post, sorry!
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