Who are these people? Why are they trying so hard to talk you into something you don't want?
It's terrific that your partner is in the same frame of mind - he can talk for you if you are too busy concentrating.
BTW - DD 1 - born at Knox no pain relief (and she was a biggie). They gave me gas but didn't tell me how to use it so I was sucking on nothing - so that proves that concentrating on breathing through the pain works. No tear, no stitches.
DS - only had peth as I was talked into it by a stupid midwife that didn't bother telling me bubs was posterior - I got scared when things felt different from the first time. He was born about 20mins later, I didn't need it at all. No tears again.
DD 2 - Perfect waterbirth at Angliss birth centre.

What to wear? I searched for the perfect outfit and ended up wearing a pink, sparkly strapless (stretchy) mini dress with matching pink leg warmers. Yes I did!