We've gone backwards.

My grandmother was in a birth centre with her first (my dad) for AT LEAST ten days. She could shower or bathe as she wished, was encouraged to feed (fairly sure it wasn't a strict routine for her - Dad was BFed fully), they helped show Grandma how to look after a baby, change nappys, dress, clean, feed... AS WELL AS doing all the "housework" things such as making meals, washing, taking the baby for a bit so Grandma could rest.

Grandma wasn't allowed out of bed - as in she wasn't allowed to do anything that wasn't looking after herself and my dad. She loved it. She was shocked not only how early I was released (then re-admitted) but by the way the hospital treated me in the post-partum period.

In future years? My son and his wife will be welcome at my house (I'm talking birth and post-partum here, not forever!). My DiL will be waited on hand-and-foot for at least two weeks in the post partum period - she can join in as and when she is ready to. Getting back into the swing of things should be a slow recovery, not a "here's your baby, now get on with it." I'll let the new parents and the baby have LOTS of time on their own together - but will be happy to help when asked! If I have another child, if that child is a girl, then I'll do the same for her. And my grandchildren.