Birth & feeding 50 years ago

[Matryoshka]

I was speaking to a lady in her 70s today (strange for me because i have no grandparents so i found her fascinating)....

she was telling me that when she gave birth to her first baby about 50 years ago, that she was not allowed to get up out of bed until 10 days after the birth, you were not allowed to shower even until 10 days later!!! i was so shocked. And then she couldn't even go home until 14 days after.

Once she got home, she said she had trouble breastfeeding, and that she had to follow a schedule, which was 6am, 10am, etc and you had to follow it to the dot. (4 hourly). She said she ended up going to the bottle.

She was surprised when i said with my first i left hospital within 24 hours, and with my second was pretty much kicked out after 12 hours! (they needed my room for someone else). I also showered right after both births - i could not imagine going without a shower.

How things have changed eh? i wonder if my grandkids will look at me in 50 years and how different it might be then? Probably be so techy that they'll have robots carrying and giving birth or something LOL.

[visitor1]

14 days...ewwwwww.....i was complaining after 1 hour of wanting a shower.

Really childbirth and the after 'bits' has come along way!

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

We've come a long way, baby. Just after I left hospital after I had DD, we went grocery shopping. It was the morning so there were lots of old ladies around and of course, seeing us with a newborn, everyone decided to say hello and have a gossip lol. We must've been there for hours! A lot of the women were really amazed that I was up and walking around, and I was thinking, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Even more recently, things are better now than they were some decades back. My mother had a terrible birth with me. She went into labour on Friday night, was vomiting etc. and the hospital told her to go home. She came back on Saturday I think where they induced her (really, she was already in labour but her contractions were too far apart). She had no pain relief, when she asked for it they said it was too late (I have no idea if it was or not). After a long, terrible labour, the Dr decided that I needed to come out so she gave my mum an episiotomy WITHOUT PAIN RELIEF, and removed me with the vaccuum. At some point while this was happening, the Dr fell silent and was aparently terrified (at least that's what her expression said). I don't know exactly what happened but from what my mum has said, my life was in danger.
As it happens, my mother had extensive internal scarring due to previous surgery and EVERY SINGLE OTHER DR had said she would need to have a caesarian. This Dr denied her that and I nearly died because of it. My mother and I both have physical problems because of this.
My poor mum! I still can't believe what she went through just to bring me into this world.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

We've gone backwards.

My grandmother was in a birth centre with her first (my dad) for AT LEAST ten days. She could shower or bathe as she wished, was encouraged to feed (fairly sure it wasn't a strict routine for her - Dad was BFed fully), they helped show Grandma how to look after a baby, change nappys, dress, clean, feed... AS WELL AS doing all the "housework" things such as making meals, washing, taking the baby for a bit so Grandma could rest.

Grandma wasn't allowed out of bed - as in she wasn't allowed to do anything that wasn't looking after herself and my dad. She loved it. She was shocked not only how early I was released (then re-admitted) but by the way the hospital treated me in the post-partum period.

In future years? My son and his wife will be welcome at my house (I'm talking birth and post-partum here, not forever!). My DiL will be waited on hand-and-foot for at least two weeks in the post partum period - she can join in as and when she is ready to. Getting back into the swing of things should be a slow recovery, not a "here's your baby, now get on with it." I'll let the new parents and the baby have LOTS of time on their own together - but will be happy to help when asked! If I have another child, if that child is a girl, then I'll do the same for her. And my grandchildren.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

We've gone backwards.

I think it depends on how you look at it. After the medicalization of child birth, the pendulum has started to swing the other and we're getting back to a more natural approach. Though considering that's how birth originally was before modern medicine, I guess that's going backwards as well anyway! Ignoring that fact though, I think we're taking steps in the right direction having midwife-lead care etc. I agree though that women are expected to recover too quickly. In non-westernized countries, women experience exactly what your grandmother did; they're left to bond with their babies and other people take care of the household stuff. I suppose that's one of the drawbacks to living in a capitalist society - women are expected to get on with it, and then get on with work soon after too. But that's a whole different story!

[paradise lost]

I think it's a symptom of modernity actually. In the olden days women could be expected to be bossed about and dictated to, MY grandmother (her births are on here) was PHYSICALLY TIED to the bed in lithotomy position for hours after one of her births as a "punishment" from the nurses for vomiting on them when she was given ether for pain relief during stitching, her choices and experience were dreadful. Nowadays women have "rights" and are theoretically not told what to do. But that's it, it's theoretical.

Because NOW, we have the facade of "choice" which means when the medico's mess things up it is the WOMAN who bears the blame. Because if they tell you your baby is gigantic and you must have a section and it turns out it's only 6lbs, it's YOU who is accused in the shops by nosy strangers of "taking the easy way out". The implication of all this so-called choice is that if it goes wrong it's because somewhere along the way you made the wrong choice. There seems to be so little talk of the altered states of mind of pregnancy and labour, a woman who "chooses" an unfashionable birth option (which depends on who is criticising you at any given moment) you can face reactions that make it seem that labour is nothing, and just because you're in labour you can STILL make the "right" decisions. Labour is a medical event, not to be discussed, and to be dismissed as a factor in any decision you made during your birth.

It's the same with all of the getting up and about and doing right after birth. After my homebirth i stayed in bed for 7 days. No, i didn't "need" to physically, but i'd just had a baby, and i was enjoying her. I LOVED lying on the bed, BFing, chatting to rello's on the phone, recieving guests, snoozing... I can remember my midwives wanting to know why i hadn't gone to the shops! The RIGHT to be up and about has become the EXPECTATION that one WILL be up and about. "You may" becomes "you MUST" all too quickly.

To me acting as though nothing is different and everyone especially mum can and should go on as before is probably MORE damaging than overdoing the "you rest my poor darling" style of the olden days. Perhaps if everyone took the transition to motherhood more seriously and treated new mums accordingly we would see less PND in our society.

Bx

[Matryoshka]

I think it depends on how you look at it. After the medicalization of child birth, the pendulum has started to swing the other and we're getting back to a more natural approach. Though considering that's how birth originally was before modern medicine, I guess that's going backwards as well anyway! Ignoring that fact though, I think we're taking steps in the right direction having midwife-lead care etc. I agree though that women are expected to recover too quickly. In non-westernized countries, women experience exactly what your grandmother did; they're left to bond with their babies and other people take care of the household stuff. I suppose that's one of the drawbacks to living in a capitalist society - women are expected to get on with it, and then get on with work soon after too. But that's a whole different story!

yeah i think we're getting back on track, having women as birth support was traditional pre-medicalisation. I had only my husband and a midwife at each birth - it was my wish no men be present.

also regarding the episiotomy - i didn't get any pain relief with mine! are you supposed to???? she just grabbed the scissors and cut it - i hardly felt it though, i was in more pain than a little snip.

[visitor1]

We've come a long way, baby. Just after I left hospital after I had DD, we went grocery shopping. It was the morning so there were lots of old ladies around and of course, seeing us with a newborn, everyone decided to say hello and have a gossip lol. We must've been there for hours! A lot of the women were really amazed that I was up and walking around, and I was thinking, "Why wouldn't I be?

I had that happen when DD1 was born..i went grocery shopping and when asked 'Oh how old is your baby'...and i replied with '48 hours' so many were shocked! No point staying home...they have to get out and about and hiding them from the world.

[Ozziehoffy]

We've come a long way, baby. Just after I left hospital after I had DD, we went grocery shopping. what she went through just to bring

lol...me too. 48 hours it was for us and that's only because we weren't allowed to leave the day before cos Oskar's temp wasn't stable. Well, mine was more a case of seriously wanting a Gloria Jean's coffee. Not to mention how much fun it is to have people fully stare and wonder how old your little bundle is...lol.

[Salsa]

Well it was similar for my mum when I was born just over 30 years ago.
She had to stay in hospital for 2 weeks - thats what you did, and I dont think they were suppose to get up for a number of days either. And they had a very strict feeding schedule and topped up the babies with formula too without asking parents consent.
The woman all shared a large ward too, no sharing with one other or private room. Can you imagine what that would be like for 2 weeks! Especially at night