A birth film for men....

[BellyBelly]

YouTube - The Other Side of the Glass - the trailer

Check it out... and share it with your partner!

[Macca79]

Wow, I got teary watching this. It's so true though. DH was with me every step of the way from daily blood tests while undergoing fertility treatment, to scans, OB appointments and birth classes. He was with me during nearly 24 hours of induced labor and at the last ,o,met when they said emergency c section they nearly didn't let him in. My son was born screaming and only stopped when they let DH talk to him and cut off the rest of the cord. He started screaming right away when they pushed DH a side and didn't stop till the gave him to me. We were all disempowered and traumatised that day but DH more so because he became the person on the outside.

I will show him this, thankyou!

[Trish]

I watched that this morning. It's very powerful isn't it.

[BellyBelly]

The start of the trailer is possibly a little bit overwhelming for the blokes but make them hang in there. The end bit is very moving and so important. Men need to protect their women and babies in labour... they have more power than they know. They need to see this!

[kristy J]

i wonder how often this happens in australia!

most people i speak to have wonderful nurses and doctors with nothing but a careing attitude.

its was good to watch

thankyou

[BeautifulMadness]

Wow. ill get my hubby to watch it.

[Heaven]

I'm crying now. I will definately get DH to watch it, just in case. At the birth centre I'm going to when I met my midwife one of the things she said is they want the baby to be put on my chest and any tests and things can wait til later. And she will be the only person in there anyway. But just in case something goes wrong and I'm transferred to the main hospital, DH definately needs to watch this.

[Freya]

OMG I dont know whether to cry or throw up! The scenes of the hospital births were just disgusting, I cannot believe Drs and nurses act, or are allowed to act, that way! Im very lucky my hospital births have been great, seems to me that Australia is just a bit ahead of everywhere else with understanding of these things. My first was taken away from me straight after birth for vitals etc because of the pre eclampsia and Dh was the first to hold him which upset me but better than nothing. My second was fabulous, the OB checked him over in 2 secs after Id held him for a 1/2hr and then handed him back and he never left my arms til DH demanded a hold @ 4hrs old lol

I just wanted to punch that OB who was trying to take that baby away from its mother.

Def a good film for daddies to watch, thanks for sharing Kelly!

[New Dawn]

Ok havent watched it yet as its still downloading ( I have a very slow wireless Grrrrr )

Anyway I just want to say that I watched the tail end of a show on SBS on thurs or friday afternoon cant remeember which but from what I could gather it was about how different countries give birth... I only got to see the last which was in France ( I think ) where they had Midwives doing most the work and they were saying how important it is to have skin to skin contact straight after birth.... I know at the end of the show they said you could buy the show so I might look it up and let you know what it was called if I can find it that is....

Will be back after i have watched....

OK apart from me cry through out this film I would like to say I am so very happy to say that I live in Australia.... I have had 3 hospital births without the uses of drugs... Apart from DS who came out too fast and not breathing so he was taken to go under a oxagen head box for 24 hrs, But my girls were both put straight to my chest where we were left for at the very least 1/2 hr yes the cut the cord after a few mins but baby was never taken from me... they only gave them a quick wipe over once I asked to get up to clean myself up... so while I showered they would wipe and dress my babies.... I would like to think this is how all Australian hospital deliver babies....

[BellyBelly]

Many procedures and decisions are done to the mother and baby without informed consent. The problem is in Australia, we just have a different approach, if the doctors do something, it must be needed so its just done. Also, you need to be informed and educated well to know what is being done out of necessity or not, and in hospital, loads of things are being done out of covering their butt and not necessity.

Very interesting yesterday at the Henci Goer workshop, those who couldn't make it really missed out on a great talk. She said that all the flight and fight studies are actually done on men (funny that), and in labour, women are more likely to do what she called, 'tend or befriend' because in labour she is vulnerable, maybe has a helpless infant in her arms so all she can do is try to draw people in or befriend them. See this is where the father needs to step up to the mark and protect his woman and baby. We watched a movie called Born in the USA also, a worthwhile see.

I was at a birth in a Melbourne private hospital and the couple were told they needed xxx, so the mother turned to the father and said, what to you think? The Ob snapped and said, 'NO it's not your decision to make you are going to listen to me.' But alot harsher than that. The dad was gobsmacked but after the birth proceeded to rave about the Ob, thank him and recommend him to his friends and family. Do we just take it and accept it here? I have not seen anyone in labour really stand up to anyone, I have seen one father strongly say no to harassing comments about the third stage injection, but yes, some Obs here are bullies too. There are members here who can vouch for it.

[Tobily]

Oh gosh. I cried for that baby, that family - being subjected to all of that! WTF were they doing?? The baby is screaming its lungs out....it obviously hasn't aspirated meconium!!

What an important film, will be certainly keeping an eye out for this one.

And just like alot of what we saw in the Business of Being Born - don't kid yourselves that this sort of thing doesn't happen here. It does. And it's so, so wrong.

I recently heard of a birth in a private hospital here in brisbane - an unscheduled caesarean and the baby was taken away and BATHED before the mother was able to hold it. We like to think that this archaic 1950's practice wouldn't happen anymore - not only does it happen at this hospital, it is policy. This same hospital still doesn't allow newborns to be with the mother in recovery. It is a disgusting abuse of women and babies at their most vulnerable for nothing more than institutional convenience.

I particularly liked this comment -

It's quite ok for us to expect/demand respect and gentle care and honoring of our baby ABOVE petty hospital needs.

This is so key. We have to start demanding better, expecting better, and knowing we and our babies deserve better.

[Freya]

I still think alot of it stems back to couples not being informed enough and not trusting their decisions/wants I also think that alot of the booklets and info that mothers are given at hospitals is full of crud. The only stuff Ive seen that was a worthwhile informative read was the info my midwife gave me the other day.

Im sure there are a ton of bully OBs, Im just lucky enough to have had 2 fabulous ones. Im also super lucky that my DH is a facts based person so he does his research before making decisions, including the joint ones we made about our kids and their births. He would not hesitate to stand up to a Dr but thankfully he's never needed too.

ETA - just on the aspiration of bub's airways, I can understand their need to do it after a csection but I was under the assumption that being birthed vaginally helped to push the mucous off the airways of the baby? Hence why they come out breathing and crying? Or have I got it wrong.

[Tobily]

ETA - just on the aspiration of bub's airways, I can understand their need to do it after a csection but I was under the assumption that being birthed vaginally helped to push the mucous off the airways of the baby? Hence why they come out breathing and crying? Or have I got it wrong.

No Anna not wrong, vaginal birth does help squeeze mucous from the babies lungs. But with that particular baby their "reason" for assaulting it like that was because it had passed meconium (ie. done a poo) in utero. They were doing it routinely - because their protocol says that mec babies have to be suctioned - even though it was glaringly obvious to all and sundry that the baby could breathe just fine...since it was screaming its head off

[myson]

"give the baby to mama now" how many times did the father have to say this! and he was treated like cr@p IMO. bullied but condescended to at the same time???

Should they have been more assertive? would that have worked? is this the kind a thing a doula would step in and help with, if the parents are getting railroaded?

I am gobsmacked!

[Freya]

I thought meconium poisoning happens awhile AFTER birth. Whether they are suctioned or not. I cant understand how suctioning a baby in its throat would get fluid out of its lungs? I would assume once its aspirated into the lungs in utero its done. That said I havent seen a case of meconium poisoning since that documentary 'Losing Laila' a few years back. And even that was caused by Dr incompetence.

[~Raven~]

Caleb passed mec during his birth and he had to have temp checks for 48 hours to ensure he didn't develop an infection but he wasn't suctioned like that at all!

Tali I agree we are very lucky to live here not be subject to that type of policy assaulting our newborns!

[Cassius2]

thanks Kelly for posting the link.

I was just crying out for someone to cuddle that little bubba and tell him it was alright! WTF??!! i would have been furious!!

My DD was straight onto my chest and she remained there for 1.5 frikkin hours!!! we cuddled, fed, cuddled, gazed etc. she was crying when she came out and the moment she heard our voices she stopped and tried to look up at me. i'll never forget it.

man, my girl didnt have a bath for 2 days!! LOL!. i didnt want to, and the m/w backed me up and said it wasn't necessary! fancy bathing someone else's bub without them around or without their consent??!!!

hope you guys have a screening of this one when it comes out!!

[Schmickers]

Sections of that film made me really angry, and also made me glad that I have never attended a hospital birth. It just disgusts me the way mothers and babies are treated. There is no reason why the baby cannot be suctioned on the woman's belly, if it needs suctioning at all. As well as that, for the uninitiated, the bit where the baby is screaming, the father asks "baby go to mama now" and the nurse is overheard saying "we just need to complete our assessment, okay?" - the assessment she is performing (with her finger in the baby's mouth) is a check for an intact palate. There is no reason why that check cannot be done at any stage during the admission. Cleft palate isn't life threatening, and it certainly isn't a reason to hold a screaming, unwrapped baby on a resuscitaire when the baby's mother and father both want it returned to the mother.

Shame.