Birth Partner

[kelebek]

ok so my sister is due in Feb 2012 it will be her third child but her other two are 9+ yrs old so it is has been awhile. She will be not quite 31 and I might get to be one of her birth supports

She is getting a copy of the calmbirth book but I am just wondering what sort of things should I be thinking/doing about for her? how do I make sure I respect her wishes?
she is not quite the 'hippy' that I am she trusts her dr's but she did have traumatic births the first 2 times. She thought she was over them but I think now she has the u/s and is past the magical first trimester she is starting to process them again... any suggestions on how to help?

thanks for now and I am sure I will be back

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Can you maybe sit with her and help her write out a birth plan?
Ask her what she would or would not like to concentrate on this time round, ask her what she wants you to do while there.
Does she want you to be an advocate and fight for her birth plan, does she want you to just be there to comfort her and hold her hands?

I think asking what she wants from you is a great place to start, gently discuss if she has any fears and how you might help her work through them.

what a wonderful sister you are.

[Babyluv]

Can you maybe sit with her and help her write out a birth plan?
Ask her what she would or would not like to concentrate on this time round, ask her what she wants you to do while there.
Does she want you to be an advocate and fight for her birth plan, does she want you to just be there to comfort her and hold her hands?

I think asking what she wants from you is a great place to start, gently discuss if she has any fears and how you might help her work through them.


what a wonderful sister you are.

Everything I was thinking has been said

[OceanPrincess]

I was my sister's birth partner (ok one of a team ) twice and took my duties very seriously. Each time it was different - the first time I was simply there and made myself available to whatever she needed so that her DH could be with her, by her side, the whole time. I got her sips of water, a cold facewasher to wipe her face, helped get the TENS off and on, whatever she needed.

Second time around it was a bit different - she went to 42weeks and was induced, so when she was past 41 and talking induction, I read up on everything to do with inductions. I asked on here about how to make it a "good" induction experience and got all the tips from the experts on BB about wireless monitoring, starting the drip low, getting her up and walking, etc etc.

She was so grateful for that - I was there with her from when they started the induction with an AROM and was able to ask the MWs/Obs for the wireless monitor and encouraged her to get up and walk around.

I also think a sister is a pretty good person for a birth partner - you probably know your sister better than her partner and I know that I was able to be a lot harder on my sis than her DH wanted to be. As in when she started with the "I can't do it, its too hard, I need some drugs" I could tell her I loved her but she needed to toughen up and just birth this baby. Her DH was looking a little green and I could tell wanted to end the pain for his DW, so it was good that I could be there to try and bring her back to the task at hand.

So your role will probably be defined on going as the pregnancy progresses. I think as ZF suggests, sitting down with her to work out her birth goals (she might not be into an official "birth plan", my sis wasn't!) is a great place to start.

What an honour for you

[kelebek]

thanks for your suggestions and OP I am worried about an induction. She was induced with both her boys and seems to have 'tough' membranes... (is that even possible? might have to research it) and both her labours really stalled until they AROM. She did give birth vaginaly both times but was cut with both of them and I know that is a fear for her.

I had a ceaser and her last was over 10 pound she has even considered the possibility of a ceaser. Not that it is wrong for her to consider it and if that is what she decides is right for her then I want to help make it empowering it's just that if we can avoid it I would like to help her with that

Yes I feel very honoured that she wants me there. I was too young and selfish for her previous births, I didn't even organise a baby shower for her so that is on my list of things to do

[OceanPrincess]

Ok if you are concerned about induction for her that's the first thing you can research - how to avoid induction. Natural induction methods. Make a list for her.

ETA: start researching articles and things about length of pregnancy and arm yourself with info on going "past dates". Help her to be strong (if she wants to) when the hospital starts talking induction. Unless she's happy to go with it...

Also - if she's worried about being cut, you could look into birthing positions that help avoid cutting, if there is such a thing. Perenium management - I was worried about my epi scar tearing with my second labour and so I discussed with the MWs how they could help - they held a warm facewasher to my perenium right when I needed it and the combination of counterpressure and warmth helped ease the birth of my DS. I still tore, a little, but it was much better than my previous epi. So you could start making a list of things to discuss with her care providers and put perenium management on there.

Have fun organising the shower for her! That'll be awesome!

[BellyBelly]

Birth Support - 10 Great Tips That Will Help Her In Labour

[*star*]

Also, you probably want to see if she wants to thoroughly go over what happened for her previous births - maybe get her to write a birth story, get hospital notes, etc. She may come up with things she liked and disliked about the previous times in more detail. I found that helped me when I went into my second birth with my doula. I really nailed down specific moments where I felt out of control and needed someone to step up and support me. It helped to know that my support knew what these were and we had a plan in place for those times.