Are birth plans a waste of time?

[BhoysGirl]

And back to the topic - for me, a birth plan next time will be worthwhile, in that it will allow me to hope (visualise) for the best, but prepare for the worst, so that I'm not so thrown if things go haywire again.

[Smoke Jaguar]

RF - I think your experiences have coloured your perceptions here. I do not believe anyone here is saying that it's your 'fault' about what happened. I am certainly not saying that, at the very least. I am saying that a birth plan's power may well be diminished in direct proportion to the medicalisation of the birthing environment. My point is, if it's a sound birth plan, don't blame the birth plan - blame the caregivers who choose to ignore it because of the structures that 'justify' their actions. What I am saying is that this needs to be taken into consideration when thinking about the kind of birth you want. If the place you are going to does not naturally or easily support the birth that is outlined in your plan, then you are likely not to achieve the birth you want easily. That is not an individual 'failing'.

[BellyBelly]

Re doulas - studies were all sorts of countries, people with private or public care - all round.

Just ask people who have used doulas what they think.

[Nai]

I don't think a birth plan is a waste of time - no my birth didn't go according to plan but when I did have to have the unplanned c/s at least I felt empowered and knew that getting to 7cm dilated drug-free and focused was achieved in the way that I wanted.

I am going for a VBAC this time and will also have a birth plan and I will also have a doula - I see DP as the one who will ensure that my birth plan is followed. My doula will be there to help with the birthing things that DP doesn't know about ie. the best position for me to be in at any point in my labour and birth.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

My birth plan was verbalised as "don't offer me drugs because there is a genetic problem my baby probably has inherited and I want to discover the gender myself."

They did remember to let me find out the gender before anyone could tell me. But a woman's right not to be pushed drugs shouldn't be only there if you're not in a hospital.

In my plan I had plans there for a C section because I knew what the hospital was like. I'm more upset they hid the plan with important medical information on and I had to explain it over and over again. Why could people not accept I can push and have a posterior labour (thanks to them) without pain relief? It didn't hurt, so stop telling me it does!

Why should anyone HAVE to write a birth plan that states "don't bully me into things you want to happen"? Because that's what a birth plan is - an anti-bully statement. And do bullies take any notice of them? No. That's why I think it's a waste of time. Sure, it makes you research things so you're more prepared, but who gives a stuff about that?

I am very bitter so I'll stop now.

[Smoke Jaguar]

RF - I'm so sorry that you feel so bitter about things, there's a hell of a lot of healing left for you There are so many things that weren't right with your situation that can't be addressed by birth plans, and it didn't go wrong with your birth plan or discarding of it.
My birth plan was not an anti-bully statement, it didn't have to be because of where I was. It would have been more an anti-bully statement had I gone to the maternity ward, though.

[ticklish]

Interesting debate happening but I didn't mean this to turn into a debate about doulas.

Equally we could debate why some husbands are emotionally depraved.

Let be clear that I do not regret any of the choices I made.

Kelly, I truly believe that I was well informed and did all my homework. No, I was not in the public system. Talk of inexperienced doulas is totally irrelevant in my case. Yes, I did have a private OB for medical reasons (my fourth OB actually after having checking out a few and finding one that promised to be VBAC friendly) . I agree that the hospital environment psychologically is probably not the right choice for me but I chose an OB and the medical environment for my safety and that of my baby during the pregnancy and birth . Debate about what happens for low risk women is not relevant to me either. Am I blaming any choices or the plan for ending up with an emergency c/s? I don't think so. I was expressing feelings of being unsupported.

More relevant to me is the promises that were made and were broken. Looking back may be my expectations were unrealistic because ultimately we are dealing with human beings and we are flawed. But I don't think that means that I am not entitled to feel disappointed. I did and do feel unsupported.

My OB read my plan and promised that he would not refer to time and progression.

It was not the midwife who let me know how far dilated I was. It was my OB a few hours after admission.

I felt let down because not only was it in my plan in black and white that I did not want to know plus he made a verbal promise to me. I was totally demoralised and I believe this lead my down the slippery slop to the emergency c/s. Why did he do it? I think simply he forgot about his promise and it was more from a desire to keep me informed about what was happening. Drs are overworked, have hundreds of patients and can't remember things, and for these reasons work on auto pilot. I doubt that he would even remember what he had said to me beforehand. I didn't expect my doula to tell my OB off but may be I expected her and my husband to acknowledge my feelings of disappointment and realise I was told something I did not want to know.

Yes, there were shift changes. The first midwife I had was a total cow and I am glad that her shift soon came to an end. My second midwife was the most beautiful calm midwife and I am grateful for that. In the end however, there was another shift change and another midwife came to theatre. It seems to me that she did not read my birth plan because her actions afterwards seem to indicate that.

How wonderful it would have been had my husband realised I wanted him and baby to stay in recovery with me. How wonderful it would have been had my doula gently reminded him. How wonderful it would have been for my husband to enquire about what had happened to the placenta and for my doula to have prompted him.

For me the issue is solely about feeling fully loved and supported at a difficult and momentus time. To know that my preferences were important enough to be remembered by others even in an emergency. I feel alone because in the end it is only me that would even remember what my preferences were even though they were all written down and only me that can ever advocate for me - a disappointing reality.

Thank you those women who have also shared feelings of disappointment. I wanted to know whether I was alone. I now know that I am not and that is important.

TICKLISH