Are birth plans a waste of time?

[~clover~]

Rosehip - your post makes me sad, probably especially from you, as I think of you as such a strong, articulate, together kind of a girl, to have you say that you feel like failure - well, is about all I can do.

I completely understand the disappointment in not getting a natural birth, having gone through the experience ending up with an em c/s for which I just wasn't mentally ready, I was too convinced that my body would do what it was supposed to do. But to think of yourself as a failure - for any woman to think of her birthing experience as a failure - is just so sad. I think that it's wrong to attibute a pass/fail approach to birthing but absolutely right to feel disappointment & varying degrees of grief when things don't to go to plan. Birth is an incredible rite of passage for us, but at the end of the day, such a small part of the whole picture, a day, maybe 2 out of a lifetime (per child I guess), so don't judge yourself on the birth experience, save that for the rest of the days when you can really get some motherguilt worked up

I think EVERYONE who is disappointed with a birth experience should read this.

[Snowy Love]

Rosehip Fairy - I've read you stories and from what I've read it wasn't your birth plan that was a waste of time, it was the midwives and your DH. Next time you need to clone yourself (or pay for one of the lovely ladies from BB to fly to England) so you have a strong advocate!

[QueenMab]

Ticklish - I am so sorry that your bith plan was not followed & you felt that you had nobody to stand up for what you wanted during your bith.

Is writing a birth plan a waste of time? I don't think so even though my own birth plan didn't make it out of my labour bag!! I was good to have written it, to have though carefully about everything I wanted, about the choices I would have to make, to take DP through it. I do agree with Kelly about the birthing mother having to make the right choices all the way up to the birth to get as close as they can to their desired outcome; for me that was choosing the birth centre & letting my midwives know what I did & didn't want from the start. Lucky for me when I went in to labour the head midwife of the birth centre was on duty & she directed DP in ways to help when she wasn't there as well as never offering me any drugs, even though I was not so subtly implying that drugs would be a great idea lol. So, even if the birth plan does nothing but get everything straight in your mind about what you want, it is worth it, IMO.

About Doulas.... could those stats have anything to do with the the kinds of women that choose to have a doula? I am not saying that doulas don't contribute to better natural birth outcomes, but for a woman to spend a considerable amount of money on one then they would be, in the first place, quite dedicated to the idea of a natural birth?

I have to say also that I see FJs POV about wondering why a doula cannot advocate for the birthing mother if that is what she wants, if it is purely because of the 'system' then it is a lot worse than we already thought.