I've had birth dreams where I'm outside, kneeling on grass. It's lovely. I find it grounding. Like you, I'm hoping for a better outcome next time. Dreams like that give me hope.

In Hypnobabies, you're taught to visualise a safe, special place with your baby. It helps with relaxation during pregnancy and birth. It sounds like you've found your special place. Practice going there consciously. Then use that during birth. You can be wherever you want to be in your head no matter where you are in body.