Understand 100%. My second birth was a bit of a mess. Didn't end up having a c section but lost a lot of blood, had to have a blood transfusion, big baby, yadda yadda and now I feel like I have no birth choices. Can't get back into group practice and seem to hitting a wall every way I turn. I'm finding it all very frustrating.
*hugs*
I was only talking the other day to a chick who is looking at her options for where to give birth to her 2nd child. and well...there are no options. where we live it is 'go ot the base hosptial' (which we all know how i feel about there...and im not the only one I have since found out) or 'spend over $10,000 to go to the private hosptial'. that is all. we only have 1 private midwife who will come to our area, and she is spread so thin that she no longer offers home antenatal appointments, you have to go her (and she lives 300km away) and cant guarentee she will even make it intime for your birth. and this is for someone who isn't attempting a VBAC.
add on all that other crap about 'damaged goods' (BS if you ask me), and there are no options. =( it really sucks balls. how did we in a modern developed 1st world come to this crap.
...ok i think i may have vented my own stuff there...sorry. but I so know where you are coming from and i agree.
I too can't justify (or afford) the expense of an IM. I will have PPL, but that money is to keep us going and pay our bills while I'm off work. Not just to get the baby out. I wish things were simpler, but they aren't. I can't get a loan, my credit is terrible. Bit off more than I could chew, blah blah blah.. you know how it is. Even if I could get a loan, I just can't add in the extra repayments on top of everything else.
But that's okay. I'm not looking for a fancy expensive birth experience. Just one where nobody is traumatized, or stalked by the reaper. Apparently Tweed Hospital is very pro VBAC, so if I can't have a waterbirth..... I'll hunker down in the shower lol. I have to be willing to compromise, or I'll end up just as shattered as last time. I have no real plans other than to come out the other end unscathed, physically and emotionally.
But dang, I really wanted a waterbirth. If I'm lucky, I can just hang out in the bathtub at home for a long long time. Gotta be positive I guess, I was SO angry and frustrated this afternoon thinking about it all, but all of your replies and support really help.
Oh and TT40, and anyone else who wants to- vent away! I love a good vent, personally. It helps me to hear that others feel the same.
Bring on this VBAC. I'll do it. And I'll do it with my usual pizzaz. Thanks to women like you!
I don't have private health. I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that this option is out! Unless I miraculously find a huge sum of cash........ anyone? As for the doula, I've got a wonderful BBer on my side and ready to fly up to be here for the month surrounding my EDD. Can't really ask for much more in that respect. Guess I'll just have to have faith and cross my fingers.
I"m annoyed that my options are so limited, but I have to deal with things as they are and not waste time and energy dwelling on what I wish I could have. That'll just upset me more. It sure does feel good to vent though, and even better that you ladies understand and are there to offer hugs, even if they are from afar!
So much for the much lauded 'birth choices' in obstetrics = labour on the bed or a beanbag (the latter only if you are lucky and dont need constant monitoring or IVs...*said very tongue in cheek here*).
Unfortunately, the only way that you could even get close to the waterbirth you want is with an IM at home. I am really sorry that it isnt an option for you I would still hesitate and say that it *could* be worth checking out, especially as more and more IMs are able to access the medicare rebate system and this is almost halving the costs involved...and ya never know, you could be like me and be winning Tuesday's lotto (that's mah plan for the week ).
Are you seeing someone for the birth trauma stuff? I found it really beneficial when i was pg with DD2 as i could bounce off my experiences in checking out the new hospitals etc with her and gauge my reactions and ensure that we were heading in the right direction (i have a tendency to wilt and smile through most hospital appts/tours etc and then find it hard to know if the experience was actually ok, or if it was actually demeaning ITMS).
Going to Tweed Hospital can be the right road, you can claim this next birth back, see it as a positive challenge and begin the preparations for this new, empowered road xx I know you can do it
:-( I'm sorry your birth choices are so limited. I looked into a BC for this pg but due to my c-sect I can't go there so my choices were somewhat limited, although we have private health insurance which opened up a few more options.
I don't know anything about Tweed Heads but I'd go down, check it out and chat to some of the midwvies there. You'll get a good sense of what they are like, particularly if you just show up - they can't 'stage' anything IYKWIM? Try to make an appt to chat to someone there. Most hospitals offer some sort of counselling service once you are booked in to the hospital. I know I had some anxiety issues (around bf) from last time that surfaced when I booked in & they gave me the phone number straight up for counselling.
I think it is awesome that you have a Doula/support person. Have you considered some cheaper options such as hypnobirthing CD, yoga practice via DVD? They can really help with your breathing & remaining calm during the labour & birth process. I am due in a couple of weeks & happy to post the hypnobirthing CD to you, so you don't have to buy it.
Also, when in labour I'd hang in the shower/bath as much too - that is what I am intending on doing or I have heard bouncing on a fit ball of walking up & down stairs aids bubs to move down into the birth canal a little quicker & easier - I'll try anything to get my VBAC....!
Thanks Cassius, no I'm not seeing anyone about that. I figure I'll talk with my MWs when the time comes to book in etc, and make my anxieties and wants and needs clear from there forwards. I honestly am not game to try for a homebirth.... and DP is not comfortable with that at all. I'm okay with being in a hospital, I just need to be sure my caregivers will do just that- care!
Indadhanu - I've heard good things about Tweed, too. Then again I heard good things about GCH last time... Guess I have to take a gamble no matter what I choose. GCH is definitely out now though. Robina is still a possibility but Tweed will be closest to our new house. We move next week....... argh! Better to do it now than before I'm too big and slow lol.
RhiChiChi - I like the idea of just showing up. I think I might do that! I did read a hypnobirthing book last time except most of it was completely inapplicable once the synto was started. Bit hard to breathe and visualise when your MW is running around like an idiot and frequently tripping over your IV nearly ripping it out of your hand.... lol. At least I can chuckle about it now, although at the time I was mad! DP even yelled at her a few times. I'll let you know if I'll be needing the hypnobirthing CD, I'll give it some thought. Guess I can't rule anything out that might be helpful, especially if it's free lol. Last time around I tried the fit ball.... except my MW kept getting in the way and telling me I was going to fall, move this way, do that.. god she needed a slap! This time will be different though because I won't be listening to annoying MWs. They'll be shown the exit if I get a repeat performance! I had to laugh thinking of using the stairs. Before I was induced with DS I spent an hour running up and down the hospital stairs. And I mean running. With DP behind me saying GO GO GO! Don't slow down! Hurry up! lol....... passers by had a good giggle about it. I can see myself doing that again. There are some stairs at work I have to use every day so towards the end I might make a habit of going up and down a few times before I start. That'll be amusing for onlookers!
Once again, thanks everyone for your support. I feel better each time I read another reply. It does suck having limited options but it's a huge help to have such support and understanding.
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Gotta be positive I guess, I was SO angry and frustrated this afternoon thinking about it all, but all of your replies and support really help.
It does suck.
).
Guess I have to take a gamble no matter what I choose. GCH is definitely out now though. Robina is still a possibility but Tweed will be closest to our new house. We move next week....... argh! Better to do it now than before I'm too big and slow lol.
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