I too can't justify (or afford) the expense of an IM. I will have PPL, but that money is to keep us going and pay our bills while I'm off work. Not just to get the baby out. I wish things were simpler, but they aren't. I can't get a loan, my credit is terrible. Bit off more than I could chew, blah blah blah.. you know how it is. Even if I could get a loan, I just can't add in the extra repayments on top of everything else.

But that's okay. I'm not looking for a fancy expensive birth experience. Just one where nobody is traumatized, or stalked by the reaper. Apparently Tweed Hospital is very pro VBAC, so if I can't have a waterbirth..... I'll hunker down in the shower lol. I have to be willing to compromise, or I'll end up just as shattered as last time. I have no real plans other than to come out the other end unscathed, physically and emotionally.

But dang, I really wanted a waterbirth. If I'm lucky, I can just hang out in the bathtub at home for a long long time. Gotta be positive I guess, I was SO angry and frustrated this afternoon thinking about it all, but all of your replies and support really help.

Oh and TT40, and anyone else who wants to- vent away! I love a good vent, personally. It helps me to hear that others feel the same.

Bring on this VBAC. I'll do it. And I'll do it with my usual pizzaz. Thanks to women like you!