My DD came down and out while i actively avoided pushing (by mooing loudly - they kept telling me she was posterior and i wasn't really dilated). I pushed once and sustained a tiny tear too small for stitching.

I think it sounds like you KNOW you don't want an epi. I have to say that to me the policy makes no sense - if you don't have and epi you might have a torn perineum, so what exactly are they avoiding - you'll definitely have a perineum in need of repair with an epi! My GF has had both (2nd degree off-centre tear 1st bub, 2nd degree midline epi with #2). She said the tear took ages to stitch compared to the epi (which is atraight line) but that the epi was much more painful for her afterwards. They healed at about the same rate but the scar from the epi is more raised than that of the tear. Her children are not 5 and 7 and she's had 2 more since, one in a midwife centre, one at home, and no tearing at all.

It sounds like you are very well-armed with information. From that point of view you're likely not to tear at all (being in tune with your body and knowing your facts) so if i were you i'd politely inform the hospital that you're sorry that it's policy is to perform episiotomies on everyone in your situation because YOUR policy is not to let people randomly cut your genitals.

Bx