Can a baby be too big for your cervix?

[Curly]

I'm no MW, but to me this looks as though someone has taken this little gem right out of the PROMA study. (Pulled Right Out of My A...)

ROFL!

you can prep yourself to try not to 'push' as much as just let your body propel the baby out, KWIM?

Ah yes, that aspect I have trouble with. I tore both times, first time DS was epidural and forceps so I couldn't feel a thing.

Second time with DD, they told me to get up on the bed and start pushing and it felt completely unnatural, I did not have the urge to push. The midwife told me I sounded like I needed to push and I told her I felt constipated but had no real feeling that I wanted to start pushing...but they told me it was time. The OB then told me I wasn't pushing hard enough and so DD's head wound up half-crowning and I had to wait for the next contraction with her head half poking out and the OB telling me that if I'd pushed harder she would already be in my arms. Helpful...not. He told me afterwards that his wife never felt the urge to push either and she'd had 5 kids.

It was only 3 little stitches after DD though.

I actually asked my OB (new OB this time) about whether it was true some women just don't get the urge to push and she looked very dubious and said it was very rare and that they'd probably made me push before I was ready.

The idea of the contractions helping push the baby out is still something I simply don't "get" because I don't know what the urge to push feels like.

[Trillian]

See 'purple pushing' really isnt' good at all. It is the most important time during birth where I think you really need to listen to your body kwim? A lot of women don't get that strong urge to push and birth their babies just fine. I think it is our bodies way of doing what needs to be done.

[sunshine_sieben]

IMHO, if you need to push, you will know it. with both my babies I have never needed someone to tell me. I think I would have ripped their heads off. I honestly had NO Control over whether I pushed or not. My body just did it. I pushed like an Ox with DD as I felt that that's what I needed to do. Especially once she was crowning, I just wanted to get it over and done with. Her head kept going back and forth a few times and it hurt so much that I instinctively held bakc with the pushing a little. At some point I couldn't handle the burning sennsation any longer so I birthed the head with one almighty push. I tore my labia. Not badly, but I needed stitches. With DS I had planned to breath him out slowly to avoid tearing again as I found the stitches worse than labour pain. But I had no say in it the second time around either. My body told me to push, so I did I tore "along the dotted line". But it didn't bother me.

The concept of "breathing the head out" still appeals to me. But I found it impossible. DS came out like a freight train (didn't even make it to the car, let alone to the birth centre).

I do believe your baby will come out even if you never get the urge to push and never consciously push. The contractions are pushing for you.

Sasa

[Snacks]

Yep, I liked the idea of breathing the baby out too for my 2nd but my MW wasn't aware or particularly supportive of my desire to stand to birth the baby. By that stage I was too tired (in transition when I arrived) to argue, plus I was already pushing because it felt so good. I feel like if I had've prepped DH better or had a doula that I would've been able to give it a go.
Curly, it sounds like your new OB is pretty cool and hopefully she will allow you to follow your body's lead and push when you are ready. Might be worth chatting to her and your support person/people beforehand and letting them know if you want to try certain positions or whatever. I found New Active Birth had some helpful suggestions for positions to try during 2nd stage. Either way, the only time I have heard of people damaging their cervices was when they were made to push before they were ready. And yours has made it through that unscathed, so take heart

[~me~]

The urge to push is feeling like you need to poo. I could still feel it even with an epidural. The pressure is in your behind and the MW can check. It does sound like in the past you have been told to push without being ready
Everyone is different...