Do a google for "Pushing for first time moms" Gloria Lemay (She's Canadian hence the weird spelling) It applies to all mamas, not just first timers.

The best way I've heard pushing described is taking over your body in the same way that vomitting does. You can't stop a vomit and you can't stop a push. Lots of women get a "rest and be thankful" stage after they dilate fully. This can last up to several hours and allow a woman to get some sleep, food, drink, a final gathering of strength both emotionally and physically. Sometimes it's to allow a baby to rotate from OP to OA thus sliding out more easily. In hospitals this rarely happens because they put a timetable to labour but in home births women can easily, happily and safely just wait till their body decides to push. The best way to push is only to push when you can't NOT push IYSWIM Coached pushing (when everyone shouts at you to push) and when you're encouraged to hold your breath and push is dangerous, causes tears, prolapse and oxygen deprivation as well as breaking blood vessels in your face. If you have trouble pushing you need to move your body till you find a position where you feel most open and best placed to push and no one can tell you what that is unless they're YOU! VEs are unnecessary provided when that first urge to push hits you do it gently and then only push as your body dictates. It's a hospy "rule" that you have to get permission to push. This is as silly as someone checking your bum before you're allowed to push out a poo. Women's bodies and instincts know what to do for poos and babies! Obviously, yours did! So trust your body, trust your baby and trust birth. You obviously know how to do it much better than anyone attending your birth could possibly advise! \/