Hi MT - there are so many variables aren't there? Its tough, and I can really relate to your thinking.
At the end of the day, if you don't consent they can't do ANYTHING to you. But at the same time you don't want to be using your precious energy in labour fighting it out with a random OB or midwife who won't listen to you. And no one really wants it to escalate to drastic measures either. Maybe you could prepare your lines IYKWIM....practice saying to yourself or your DH what you would say to an OB who was pressuring you into the bung in your arm i.e. "I am aware of the reasons why you wish for me to have a bung in my arm or [insert other intervention here!] however I am well informed of the risks associated and respectfully refuse." Or something like that. Sure they'll probably write it in your notes, but who cares.
One of the hospitals I talked to this week regarding my VBAC are happy for midwives to support me in their Birthing Centre. I simply sign a form saying I don't want a bung, or monitoring and they're happy with that.
If you are really butting heads with an OB or midwife, ask them to leave. If it gets to the point where you are being ignored or they simply won't listen, request different careproviders.
Are you planning on writing a birth plan? If so, I would make it detailed. Go into every possible scenario. And if they continue to ignore what you are saying to them in your refusal, get your DH to whip out a copy and politely point out to them that maybe they should have a read.
And as far as I knew you can discharge yourself from hospital at any point you wish. They can't restrain you last time I checked. If it is against their advice, then I'm sure they'll write that in your notes too. But if you're not comfortable in hospital then its your choice.
Good luck MT - I know that so much of this isn't really that black & white, but at the end of they day, its your body and your choice.
I'm not planning on going to extremes, but was just wondering what happens in certain scenarios.
Thankyou Emmy, you answered my questions perfectly. What kind of hospital are you in? Major, minor, public, private, city, country etc?
And Alioops that is interesting about the notes in the file that the other Ob has to follow. That's pretty much where I am heading, but it was just that my Ob gave me the heads up on what would happen if I get another Ob - that they would be rude to me. I get the feeling he even gets exasperated with them, he's told me a few things that he doesn't like how they handle certain situations. So I guess I just wanted to know how rude I would have to be back, which of course led to all these other scenarios in my head and what I can and can't do.
I did know that I can demand another m/w - I wish I had last time!! But I know how I behave in labour now - and I get a bit submissive. My DH was going to request another m/w but I wouldn't let him.... I thought I would get over it, and I couldn't put her on to some other poor labouring woman (yes, she really was that awful. I think childbirth and labour and all the lovely details that go with it grosses her out!! All she cared about was the monitors!!) But I wasn't sure if I can demand another Ob.... and of course then they are in the 'club' so they'll just cover each others butts and treat me in the same manner.
Nelle - that was what i was thinking about getting a cannula in when needed rather than in case it is needed. I have no problem with having one if they deem it absolutely necessary, or think that I am heading in to dangerous territory and I might need one just in case. But I don't want it when all is well and there are no threats on the horizon.
Infinity - I had a detailed birth plan last time and no one read it. At all. They constantly asked me about or tried to do things that I didn't want that were explicitly in my birth plan. Of course I am mainly talking about my clueless m/w but as my Ob only popped in and out throughout the time I expect that it is the m/w who should be familiar with the plan, and ask any questions or clarify anything at admission so that I didn't constantly have to keep repeating myself. Even when she asked things or I told her she would still just start doing the opposite.
This is also probably half of my issues, that I don't want all that hassle again. I really felt that I wasn't allowed to just get on with it because I had to keep one eye on what she was doing. My DH was very supportive and was telling her stuff too, but she would listen to him even less than me.
I would just keep saying 'no thank you' and let them write in your notes that you declined bung. Simple really!
Infinity summed up what I was thinking.
I had a non medicalised twin birth (so similar to VBAC in that I was high risk). I wrote a detailed birth plan and discussed it with my obstetrician who agreed and signed it so I could show it to anyone who said I was breaking the rules. I also had a long discussion with my midwives who added lots to my birth plan and got me to sign it too (no routine cannula, no continuous monitoring, etc).
I think as long as you make it very clear you are willing to do whatever if you deviate from normal most caregivers will be ok, but having your birth plan signed by your obstetrician may help. I completely understand the cannula thing though, I hate them in too and during labour I believe you need to be comfortable and not constantly annoyed by a tube in your hand which is there "just in case".
ETA one of my birth preferences was that no doctor came anywhere near me unless there was a complication, so maybe that's why he was so happy to let me have my way as he was in another ward having a cup of tea!
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