Reply With QuoteThat sounds like a fabulous, supportive and descriptive plan for your DH to follow (or at least have some idea of the steps under pressure) Well done!!!!
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DH's to-do list for when I'm in labour
I thought I'd share this list with everyone - I wrote it a while ago then figured DH wouldn't want it, but it turns out he does!I've tried to detail everything I think he may have to deal with, but I'm open for suggestions if I've forgotten anything
ScottyDuck's to-do list for TeniBear's labour
While doing these things, don’t forget the most important thing: ME. Keep checking back on me while you run around getting things done. I’ll need at least a bottle of water with me at all times.
Also keep in mind that, having written this without ever having given birth, I’m going off what I’ve heard it’s like. A lot of this can and probably will change. Don’t think you have to follow it to the letter, take your cues off of me.
When I first go into proper labour
• If you need to work in the next 24 hours, call work and tell them you won’t be in until after the baby’s born.
• Double-check everything’s in my bags and the car.
• Make sure the camera has batteries, spares, and a memory card.
• Make sure iPod is charged. If it’s not, put it and the charger with the birth CDs in labour bag.
• Make a few sandwiches/easy-to-eat snacks for both of us. If something gets eaten while we’re still home, replace it ASAP.
• Check how far apart my contractions are, and how long they’re lasting. I’ll try to be timing them myself so I’ll let you know how things are going. If I’m unable to time them myself, you’ll have to check in more often.
Once my waters break, or contractions are about 5 minutes (or less) apart
• DON’T PANIC.
• Help me to the toilet/shower/wherever I want to be. Stay close so we can talk to each other comfortably.
o If I’m yelling aimlessly or grunting, it’s not something to worry about. Only come running if I’m starting to panic.• Call mum on my mobile and tell her I’m in labour. Keep her on the phone while you call the hospital. Don’t let her panic.
o I’ll let you know immediately if I think I need to go to the hospital. It might take a while.
• Call the maternity ward on your mobile and see if they think I should come in. They won’t be panicking.
o IF WE HAVE TIME:
Tell mum to come over so we can all go together and she can help until we have to leave.
While we’re waiting for mum, stay with me and make sure things aren’t progressing too quickly.
o IF WE DON’T HAVE TIME:
Tell mum to meet us at the hospital, outside the Emergency Department.
When we get to the hospital
• Get mum to go in and tell someone I’m in labour. If I’m able to walk by myself I’ll go in with her, if not I’ll need a wheelchair to come out to the car.
o If it’s 7am-8pm, we’ll be going right to the Maternity ward.• Park the car.
o If it’s not between those times, we’ll be going through the Emergency Department.
o If possible, park in Plaza car park so you don’t have to pay for parking at the hospital.• Grab maternity & baby bags and join us inside.
Once we’re in the birthing room
• Do not let anyone tell me what to do if it’s not in the “plan”.
o This is a big one. If (for whatever reason) I am not able to give consent, it’s up to you to do so. If it’s saving my or the baby’s life, of course go for it. If it’s more for the doctor’s convenience (eg if they say it’s “to speed things up”) do not let them do it. I have faith in my body.• No matter what I say, only the good stuff is true.
o I don’t know if it’ll be a quiet birth or a loud screamy one, but if I say (scream) anything negative at you, please realise I’m only lashing out because I’m in pain or frustrated. Don’t get upset about it. If I say positive things though, feel free to listen.• What I say goes. If I don’t want something to happen, and you’re not sure what to do, I’ll let you know.
o If it’s something the doctor should know, and they don’t hear (or ignore) me, it’s your job to speak up. If you have my birth plan on hand, it’ll help you know what I want and what I don’t.• If they need to take the baby away, stay with him/her
o If it’s something I want you (or anyone else in the room) to do, don’t argue, just bloody do it.
o There should be no reason why they need to remove the baby from the room, but if there’s an emergency, you stay with the baby. Don’t even give me a thought – your biggest priority is the smallest person in the room.
After it’s all over
• Take lots of photos of the baby with me, you, and mum.
• Once we’ve had lots of cuddles and I say it’s okay, start calling people to spread the news.
o While you’re doing this, get my “Afterwards” bag out of the car.• While I have a shower (not sure when that'll be) you get to be in charge of the baby properly - weighing him/her, putting on the first nappy, etc.
When you go home
• Set both of our Facebook statuses to something like “[My/Your Name] is a [mummy/daddy]! Baby [Name] Reid was born at [time] [this morning/tonight/last night/today] weighing [weight]. Mum & Bub are [doing well/recovering], more details to come.”
o Do it from the computer, because no-one can see status updates from the iPhone without specifically going to your profile.• Call work and let them know when you’ll be back.
• Make sure the house is ready for baby to come home. Clean up any mess we made during labour.
• SLEEP AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! This is the last opportunity for proper sleep you’ll ever have until our last born moves out of home.
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That sounds like a fabulous, supportive and descriptive plan for your DH to follow (or at least have some idea of the steps under pressure
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that sounds awesome Teni
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Oh, yes, please, feel free to steal if you like
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Tenibear this is fantastic, you were very clever to write all of this out and I'm pleased that DH thinks it is useful! I will have a chat to my DP about it and make sure he's clear on all these sort of things too
Oh one additional thing I thought of, that may be worth raising. At my hospie, bub can't be with me in recovery if I end up in an emergency c/s. That would be the same also if you had an emergency c/s under general. I'd always heard that "DP will stay with the bub" but never really thought about what that meant if bub is well and there's a wait for you to come to your room. I just found out a couple of weeks ago that DP will be sent to my room with bub to await my return. The middie I was speaking to said that generally the fella is sitting there staring with amazement or terror at the bub (maybe asleep or crying) in the basinette. She said, "No one will suggest this to him so talk to him now - tell your husband to sit comfortably or lie back, open his shirt, unwrap the bub, and cuddle it with a blanket over them both - he can do the skin on skin that you're missing out on in recovery". Makes me tearful! But a great suggestion.
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wow! that is one fabulous birth plan.
Made me laugh a couple of times, thinking back at my birth with the whole yelling things! and dont take it personally.
Good Luck!!
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This is awesome!! I LOVE it!! I might just do that (steal it)
Oh, yes, please, feel free to steal if you like
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Love it!and cant wait to read the version after the birth lol with your and DH amendment! lol
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
TeniBear - I love your lists.I think I'll steal this one too.
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Great idea..... although I think I may struggle to get DH to read even that much!! Hehe!!
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That's a wonderful idea writing everything down for DH, TeniBear!
I hadn't even thought about doing that, but being that my DH doesn't even want to be in the labour room when I give birth, I definately think I'll follow your lead. I have a good friend as back up birth partner if DH doesn't come, so it is something she can use too! It may even make DH feel a little more comfortable about being there, as he'll know what is expected of him, as I think that is half of his problem - he doesn't think he'll be able to help me or cope with me in pain!!
Cheers, Lou.
BellyBelly Member
Excellent plan for DH!! I like how its funny...that way, they're more likely to pay attention to it!
Just one thing, you say...
[QUOTE=TeniBear;2189777]•o If it’s something I want you (or anyone else in the room) to do, don’t argue, just bloody do it.[QUOTE]
now, if you're going for a natural, drug free (not sure if you are or not), you may at one stage ask for drugs, an epi or forceps or something, i think i read that it was quite common during transistion or something. I know I did, and I was determined to have a drug-free, intervention-free birth, which DH and the mw knew, so when I asked "can you please just pull the baby out", I was calmly talked out of it. But your DH might take this point to mean that if you ask for an epi or something, that he should go with it.
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Ah, good point. BUT! We've already talked about that)
So maybe I'll have to reword that bit. Thanks
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