So of course I'm getting close to the big day now, and I think I'm getting anxious about whether my techniques for pain relief will actually work.
I read books last time but of course when I went into labour, I forgot most things that I had read, other than a few juju things that I used in transition - but still felt quite out of control and scared during the labour.
I'm wanting to do things differently this time (not better, just different!) but I guess I'm worried that the things I have on my birth notes may not help at all either.
Last time I spent a lot of time on the toilet. I'm wanting to use the shower this time round, heat packs, breathing techniques, different positions etc - and I'm worried I will freak out again and it will be just as scary this time round too!
Anyone have any stories to reassure me that I will do ok second time round?
I think it's just the contractions that are worrying me, I'm quite looking forward to the pushing stage because that wasn't painful - just sweet relief to get the bugger out lol
Have you thought about a tens? I found it was a great tool for me, mainly as a distraction I think! I plan on using it again.
Other than that I squashed a comb in the palm of my hand, apparently there are pressure points that it works on. My natropath recommended it!? Seemed to work.
But I still think your best tool is the power of your mind. Stay focused and think lots of open thoughts. Imagine your cervix dilating and opening. Have faith in yourself, you can do it!
Absolutely. i used a mix of TENS, hypobabies and shower. It was only exhaustion that got to me really, but even then i got through with lots of counter pressure and encouragement. I hated lying down as that's when it hurt most, but I needed to lie down at one stage when I was really tired. I like standing mostly, especially in the shower. When i got really into it, I was talking to myself and baby alot, telling myself to open, telling baby to move down. I used some of the hypnobabues cues, like breathing and "peace" to relax. i hadnt finished the course, so didnt use it all.
breathing and staying calm worked best. When I panicked or whatever, it made everything worse. that's what my support people were for - helping me stay calm and breathe right. I also got into a "zone" where i was enjoying the challenge, so that helped too.
I was desperate to have an epidural with DD2 but unfortunately first check i was too early then second i was too late. I cant believe i did it without one! In saying that.. i found the heat pack marvelous! All my pain was at the front with my contractions and it didnt take away the pain but did help ALOT! I did also when the contractions were happening relaxed my pelvic floor muscles to a point i was kinda, what i felt, was helping open in cervix.. kinda the opposite to when you strengthen them.. hard to explain but when i started doing this, i dilated quite quickly.. not sure if it aided to it but im going with it that it did.
I tried the shower, but found it made no difference for me.
I moved alot during DS2's birth. With my other two I mostly stayed on the bed, but this time I moved from the ball to the shower, to standing over the bed, to the shower to the toilet to the shower (ect...) I loved the shower. It helped when things got overwhelming as it eased my contrax off a fair bit and I could regroup and go back into a position that brought on the strong contrax like on the toilet and ball. Whe I was in serious labour (7cm +dialated) counting my breaths really helped me. I haven't read any birth books or anything like that other than what I have learnt on BB, and for me counting my breaths through contrax really helped me focus. I took really deep breaths, really filled my lungs, through a contraction and focused on just breathing and not yelling through them, occaisionally my doula would guide me if I was getting too 'screamy', lol. I imagined baby moving down and everything opening for him and meeting him at the end through the contractions too. Knowing that it would end and I would meet my baby soon and having that in my mind kept me going. Having a great doula and DH just there really helped too, even though I don't like to talk or be touched during labour, I just like to know they are there. Also just remembering the buzz I had after I birthed DS1 really helped when things got hairy too.
Dunno if any of that gibberish helps, but you will find you 'thing' hun. And you can do it, you have done it! You will have your gorgeous little one in your arms soon.
its ok to be scared...in fact I would be worried if you weren't fearful about SOME part of the labour.
Heat packs worked really well for me, and walking lots (pacing the hallway). I also found embracing the pain really important...so concentrating on bringing on strong contractions because I knew that would be helping the baby.
I wish I could say I enjoyed the pushing part...compared to contractions pushing was scary for me...all that labial and vaginal stinging...ouch!
I think we all have our fears, and I think its amazing that you're so honest and open with yourself. You're going to have a great birth!
With the last 3 boys the shower was my saviour, with Julian I was at home using the shower and toilet to sit on....seemed comfy at the time lol and I got to the hospital ready to push with him.
omg I'm due soon with my 2nd and I also feel scared... i know what's coming!! lol.
But I'm scared this labour won't go as wonderfully as my first with DS (8hr spontaneous labour, a bit of gas, no tears, gorgeous healthy baby )
pre-labour - raspberry leaf tea and lots of kegles to get them muscles ready
Stress balls - used this as pain started to build. Moved to ''aahhhiiinnnggg'' and distraction (as juju recommneds) at various stages.
Tens Machine - we hired one online for $100. Used it early on and it was great. Introduced gas when tens wasn't quite enough.
Gas - dialled it way down and slowly increased it thinking "pain will get worse so don't use it full on yet''... this got me to 9.5cm
Hot water - shower rocked!!! wish i'd gotten in earlier.
Fit ball - I laboured nearly my entire labour on the fit ball, rocking from side to side, with a tens machine and gas toilet was also a good position.
DH - he was my secret weapon. He also read Juju's book so was a fabulous help in keeping me on the straight and narrow. When fear crept in and i started losing my focus, he'd bring me back. He kept chanting "baby down, baby down, you are doing great, good pain, etc etc" just over and over and looked me right in the eyes... that look was my anchor. I even think I could get through an entire labour with nothing but my DH cos he was that good at positive thinking and distraction etc. So get yourself someone who will keep you in the moment iykwim.
I'm opposite to you... i really didn't do well on the pushing and not looking forward to it but i'm determined to "do better this time" lol.
So to answer your question - yes i feel my techniques worked. I really do think you need to be mentally prepared for it ... and have a good understanding on why it hurts! and what is happening etc lol.
JM - I dunno about tens, might be too late to look into the hire of it? I'm due on Tuesday. I'll pack a comb though, thanks for the tip.
Tashy - I know, I'm relying on DH a lot this time to keep me calm this time round. Hopefully he stands up to the job!
Star - thanks honey You did awesome without an epidural
Kel - yup all that gibberish helps I want to move a lot more this time too, I think sometimes my butt was stuck on the loo.. lol
Arcadia - I know I have to be more accepting of the pain this time round, I just don't really know how to do that?
Amanda - that sounds awesome!!
Grub - Gas isn't an option, there will be no drugs available to me. Probably why I'm freaking out cos even though I did it last time, I also know what I'm in for!!! Although logic does suggest that I've done it once, I'll do it again... lol
I'm probably stressing for nothing right? Its weird, sometimes I'm completely calm and ready for it, and then other times its like I freak out and go "omg what have I done!!"
you might be able to hire one from a local phsyiotherapist on short notice And maybe do the online order JIC you go over.
One thing that helps me is the stats that each birth gets shorter and often a llittle easier as things have already stretched once. But i'm one of those women who is so sure that'll i'll prove that little gem wrong! lol.
My labour with DD was drug free, it was amazing. Not until after I had DS did I realize how fantastic and natural it was. I spent almost entire labour in the shower, I controlled my breathing through contractions, exactly the way i had read too. I was very focused on my breathing which is the key. I am proud of this labour.
Then we have labour number two sheesh I was a mess my focus was not there at all, I was upset my dr was unavailable and I couldn't get in right mind set. I yelled, swore, demanded drugs and then demanded more because the first ones weren't working.. Not good and I believe it all happened because I couldn't get my mind focused.
You have strength. You have courage. You were made to do this. You know you can. You been there, you know there can be pain, you'll expect it. Each contraction is the both of you working together. You'll breath through it, you'll go with it. You'll have support. They'll be there for you and with you. You'll birth your bubba. Because you can. You're amazing!!!
You'll be great. You can do it. And know that there is always a back up plan if you need it.
I picked up a TENS machine two days before i went into labour. Had a bit of a life crisis and totally forgot about it and then had a mad rush to find one. So if you don't have the baby in the next 24 hours, you might be able to get one if you want it. Most places do overnight delivery, obviously not on a Sunday though. But you didn't use it last time, so i reckon you'll be just fine.
First time, nope, didn't work for me. I read some books but I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was or needed to be. I didn't really have any specific techniques So after a long labour the pain got to me too much and I couldn't get my head in the right place. That ended in c/s.
With DD2 I was way more prepared and so was DH. I made him read juju's book and parts of Ina May. He was really prepared, he took notes! lol. And we went through it and he asked me what techniques I liked most and what I wanted him to do etc. This made a huge difference. He knew exactly what to do. He was like my coach and he kept me on track the whole way.
I was scared too. Every time I would feel some prelabour I would get butterflies and feel sick because it would remind me of DD1's labour. When labour started I was still scared and for the first couple of hrs was wondering how on earth I would do it and felt like crying coz I was scared. But then with DH's help I got over it and started to think more positively. I kept thinking 'open' and 'down' like the books said and concentrating on what I wanted my body to do. That helped me keep my mind on track and not think negatively. When I started to lose it I would look DH in the eye and he would remind me of what to do.
I was much better at the breathing this time too. I really concentrated on it and took long slow breaths breathing out and keeping my lips loose. I also used the TENS and a heat pack and paced during contractions. The best thing was the shower at hospital though. The hot water on my belly and back was amazing in labour both times.
Anyway, I think although I was way more scared second time around because I knew what contractions would be like I coped a lot better! Part of it was being prepared with techniques and having DH prepared so he could remind me and I didn't have to remember it all by myself. But the other part I think was also that because I knew what the contractions were like I was more ready for them. I was expecting the worst, lol, and actually it never got as bad as I expected it would. I dealt with it a lot better because I was ready for the pain and not shocked by it. I was like you too, not scared of pushing, just scared of the contractions. Pushing wasn't painful for me, just hard work, and crowning didn't hurt much either, only felt a bit of a sting even though I had a second degree tear.
Yes I found mine helped. I stayed at home for as long as possible, was in hospy approx 3 1/2-4 hrs before bub was born.
Tens was fantastic up until transition. I spent alot of time on the toilet because I found my CX were closer together & more intense & I felt more pressure when I was on there which I thought was a good thing. Heat packs were fantastic and I got the most help from juju sundins book birth skills when it came to breathing & pushing, when pushing I was thinking coffee plunger, diaphragm down, pushing into bum. I was focused and in control up until transition where my body just took over. My mind took over again once I started pushing. I'm glad I used what I did it helped me to avoid using drugs.
Don't freak out, you can do it without the drugs, it's painful but nothing you can't handle!
It's an amazing experience!
wrt embracing the pain or discomfort. a lot of the time I was visualising the Tour de France. We'd just watched it and visualising the riders going up the mountain helped me.l If they could do that, then i could do this. So i'd hum in the shower, rocking that baby down, visualising them slowly pumping their way up, then when I felt stronger, move to the loo to really amp the intensity up and imagine them sprinting down. What i liked was a small sense of control - I could make ctx stronger in certain positions, so i knew i was working harder.
I suppose I see it like going for a long trining run. This bit is mild running, this bit is pushups, this bit is recovery, this is a sprint. I used the mentality to get through a training session to get through birth. And i have to say, I loved it. OK I b*tched and moaned from time to time. I hated giving up the TENS for the pushing bit. I hated having move from the loo for the pushing bit. But i know most of it was MY doing. i had control - to an extent. feedback I've had since was it was me that progressed that birth. No-one else. it was my determination that meant I was able to birth vaginally.
The pushing was another thing altogether. it started off as directed pushing, but once I got in the rhythm of it, it was me who decided to push more. I grabbed people's hands and crushed their bones bearing down Even when i thought I wasn't doing very well. The whole things was the combination of techniques and self-confidence. i can DO birth. it's pregnancy that i'd prefer to skip.
You'll be fine. i read a great quote the other day which i thought would make a great birth motto: " I am going to rock this birth. I am going to make fear my b*tch and it can serve me coffee after"
I have to say im so totally with you on this one! I was hopless last time, flapped my arms when i got too hard and demanded an epidural....this time is going to be different! This thread, which i wish id started myself, is great, great to hear other peoples comments and what worked for them, i have prepared so much more this time, and i have a doula, and DH is so much more prepared and ready too, and not so worried, we have a plan of action this time and we all know what things iwant to try and what i think will work for me! I have the option of drugs if i want but i want to do it without.
You can do it, you know you'll kick its butt! I know I can do it too....confidence, positive mind set and determination!
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Did your pain relief techniques work?
lol and I got to the hospital ready to push with him.
I want to move a lot more this time too, I think sometimes my butt was stuck on the loo.. lol
So after a long labour the pain got to me too much and I couldn't get my head in the right place. That ended in c/s.
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