Do you think your mind has a lot to do with going into labour?

[Inanna]

It is my belief that your mind is your biggest birthing organ. If you're heads not right your Hoo Haa is going to have trouble dancing... It's a fact.

We are burdened of stories of mothers/sisters/aunts of births that went wrong - for some sadistic reason everyone wants to share their horror story. If you are like me and profess to loving labour and birth - you are often seen as freaky!

We need to get away from this - to psychologically separate ourselves from this baggage. Don't underestimate it's load...

When a woman says: "I think I'm going to hve an issue birthing because mum did - you can be sure she will"... Of course not always but often.
Because our minds are powerful powerful powerful organs. They can manifest disease, pain & difficulty birthing to name but a few...

What needs to happen is a reprogramming of the mind. As a Woman your body knows inately - with the DNA imprint of millenia how to birth a baby. Your mind however doesn't.

The same often happens with breastfeeding - mum had trouble so will I... "I come from a long line of women who can't feed"...

You need to recreate your reality. The reality is you have a Womb, A Cervix, A Vagina, Pelvic Muscles - your body is made to birth. What you need is focused intent.

When the I can't happens - question that. Why do I feel that? Could the opposite be true? How would I feel if I didn't have that belief". If the opposite could also be true isn't it wiser to focus on that? The answer is yes.

Don't be hard on yourself Mel - this is something that you have had passed on to you - and many many many women have it. The thing is it doesn't need to be the same. It can be different - I truly believe heart and soul that it can be.

You need good quality care - that is loving, supportive and truly gets where you are coming from.

Many of us gestate longer than 42 weeks - losing your plug is a good sign that your body is preparing for birth. Bless your body for that! It knows Mel how to do it - this time your head has to come into line with your Hoo Haa! I was 2 weeks late with my first, on time with my second, 10 days late with my third and on time with my fourth - there often is no pattern. Believing that your mothers birthing history dictates yours sets you up for failure...

Stick up affirmations around your house - everywhere! Get some books and make them your Bible do not allow any negatives to reach your ears. Friends who goad you & say you can't do it are not being good friends. Granted not everyone has the same ideals around birth - but don't discuss your birth with anyone who will not hold your goals in the same energy that you do. Have a mantra to deflect the comments: "I don't want to discuss birthing this baby - let's talk about something else..."

Sending you loving support...

[Willow]

I believe it does to a degree. My parents always come to stay with us the week or so before my due date (they live 4 hours away). After a week or so of waiting around and nothing happening, my dad's had enough of the city and heads home.

Both times i have gone into labour the day after he left (both babies born 10 days over). I've always said that my babies don't want to come when poppy's here! But the more I think about it, the more I think it's ME that doesn't want to labour with my dad around because I don't think he would handle seeing me in that state. I am not comfortable to labour with him here. I remember saying to my mum last time that the baby would not come until Dad went home.

I am going to ask my mum in the nicest way possible to leave him at home this time, or ask him to leave before my due date...my own little psychological experiment if you will

[Pinny-mum]

I believe our minds are powerful tools, and some people just don't realise how powerful.

I don't we can actually put our selfs into labour by just wishful thinking, I believe it is a lot more complex than that but I do believe we have the energy forces to make positive outcomes too.

Of cousre you will be ale to go into labour, our bodies are also very powerful..

I was 12 days over with my first labour and with my second I went over by 5 days technically arccording to my obs dates but i worked out DS would come on the 18th and he did...mind you just scrapped in as he was born 20 mins before midnight...

Good Luck, positive thinking has a lot to do with it all

[Jahzara]

I ABSOLUTELY believe that !

With DS#1 i was extremely nervous about giving birth. I was having alot of really painful pre labour/contractions and it started to freak me out. So i think my Vagina went then it went !
I ended up being induced and he was forceped out cause i didnt have any energy left from a huge lack of sleep from stressing. I also had an epidural.

Then when i was pregnant with DS#2 i was so busy running around after DS#1 that i didnt really think about it too much. I was very relaxed about the whole thing.
I went into labour 10 days early and had a great birth.
Show -6am
Contractions started about an hour later
Started timing contractions at roughly 3pm
Waters broke -6pm
Hospital -8pm
Delivered - 9.53pm
Obviously my body was ready but i do believe that alot of it also had to do with my relaxed state of mind.
I was very happy with how it all went ! No pain relief.

Then DS#3 - whole other story - alot of pressure to perform and in alot of pain. Went past my EDD and was induced cause i couldnt take the pain anymore.
This was the worst birth of them all. No pain relief and i didnt cope cause he was bigger than my other two and i started to panic from the pain.
Also after they broke my waters they left me for a while to see if the contractions would start. Around 3 - 4 hrs later they werent quite regular enough for their liking so they wanted to put in a drip to make them regular. I kept saying NO. Managed to stall for quite a while. Then as soon as the Midwife left the room to organise the drip, i thought "oh my goodness, i need to push". She came back in and got quite a surprise. There was no way i wanted that drip. I knew i didnt need it.

Sorry this has turned out to be so long, but i was trying to show what type of birth i had in relation to my state of mind.
Next time round, i wont let the "outside" get "inside" - IYKWIM

You go girl ! - I hope you get the birth you long for ! You can do it !

[AliBaby]

Yes , yes and yes, will come back to read all of the posts and write more but what I do suggest is 2 weeks before your Due date, shut yourself off from those sorts of people, dont answer your phone and just enjoy your time being pregnant, soak in the bath and think of labouring your child and keep BB switched on at all times. Spend this time with just you, DH and your kids, be a family and think of your new little one coming to join you.

We put enough pressure on ourselves that we dont need the unwanted pressure of outsiders.

Lots of to you. Rambled thoughts are always the most interesting and meaningful.

[Arimeh]

Rambled thoughts are always the most interesting and meaningful.

PMSL.. thanks.. I think.. lol

Thanks everyone. Most of you know my history anyway, but for those that don't and took the time to reply (thank you!) - DS was an elective c/section, and Miss M was an "elective" c/section at 42 weeks. I don't class hers as an elective cos it was either get her out or have a dead baby - so not much "choice" there.

Cassius - yup will be doing hypnobirthing this time around. I did it last time, but I think it was like a short course or something, only went for a few hours and basically covered breathing in labour - and not much else.

As Cass (ozziehoffy) has discovered today on facebook, I have a lot of "isshooes" and realy need to work them out and let them go - so thanks for the cry Cass - love ya babe xx

[AliBaby]

LOL! I think my thoughts came out pretty rambled!

Thoughts are better out than in. Glad there is lots of love and support here for you

[Laranna]

You know, I'd never really thought about it until you posted this thread Mel but yep I think the mind has a lot to do with going into labour. With DS I knew I was going to have an "elective" c/s at 38+4 weeks due to placenta praevia. I was freaking out the whole third trimester that he wouldn't be ready to come out then and was secretly wishing that I'd go into labour naturally. I did. My waters broke at 36+6, contractions 5 minutes apart. Laboured for 2 hours until they were ready to do the c/s. Bit earlier than expected but I think my wishful thinking paid off.

[Jellyfish]

Not sure. I wasn't really thinking about it since it was 2 weeks early. Took me about 6hrs before I actually realised what was going on! Was a really easy labour and she arrived another 6 or so hours after that without a tear or graze or any pain releif.

I am a pretty laid back sort of person for the most part and usually perform my best when I am not overthinking things!

ETA: My Mum and several other females in my family had their babies early so I always thought that would happen to me. I hadn't really heard any horror stories so I wasn't stressed out at all haha.

[Oorki Galoorki]

YES

so much my labour died in the bum when my MIL came over(we hada HB) then once she went for a walk with DS it ROARED back and DD was born as they walked in the door.

my mind was worried about having MIl there. so it slowed it down until she left.

[Maruschke]

Mel - Yep I agree 100% with FC, your mind is your biggest birthing organ. I know just before I went into labour with DD1, I had mentally resigned myself to going way way overdue, and sorta just gave my body permission to do what it wanted when it wanted. I started having a show the next day...

You are a birthing machine and I truly believe that this bubba is going to come out of your vajayjay! You have some wonderful support people around you, and the right mindset. You can do this hun!

[Calluna]

I obviously haven't been through labor, as this is my first child but from the people I've spoken to it definitely seems to make a difference.
This discussion made me think of a poem that DP has hanging by our bed, so I posted it for everyone to have a read (here)

[*Beema*]

I think that the mind does have a lot to do with it.

I am not the best example when it comes to going over due...

I was the opposite, I thought that there was a pretty high chance I would go early, the day before I went into Labour I said to MIL, well I have two goals to meet, Tuesday (2 days later) as the baby Bonus went up , then 36 weeks so I could deliver in my private hospital, then bubs could come anytime after that. I believe that subconciously I knew labour was impending.

I still hadn't packed my bags, except for a couple of things that I bought new for them, but I did have all the camera's packed, chanrged, with clean memory cards.

The next day when my waters broke @ 33 weeks I was not at all worried, more like bugger I am not packed, it is early but not dangerously early (nephew was born at the same gestation), but I had no idea that I would be holding my baby 2 1/2 hours later.

I wasn't organised, but I guess I was ready... DD not quite so ready... but chance of stopping her!

I think I will likely go early next time as well, I hoping not as early, preferably 37 weeks but gee won't I get a shock if I crack 40 weeks!

I think what is important for you is to keep your dates private to avoid some of the pressure, I would even been tempted to say I was going to be a month later

But Mel, YOU CAN DO THIS, your BODY WILL DO THIS when IT IS READY, when YOU are READY.

You have a mountain of knowledge here to draw upon, and it is fabulous to see that you have already started to put things in place, start early

[rufalina]

Great thread. It has given me so much to think about. Thanks all so much for sharing and Mel for starting the conversation. Going to go and look up those books suggested and really think about calmbirthing classes. Cheers!!!

Hope DH is cool with me plastering the house with birthing affirmations!!!

[mbear]

OMGOSH....yes...defn. I think the mind plays a huge role in conceiving and labour itself......

Whilst all my children appeared on or there abouts on their due date, i honestly believe i was ready mentally for labour at that time.

My last labour (2 weeks ago....) i wasnt physically exhausted from my labour (only 3 hrs) but i was mentally exhausted. It took sooo much outta me preparing for the 2nd stage of labour, the transistion, and the pushing i honestly have never felt so mentally exhausted like that before....
The mind is soooo powerful. Ive said this before, but will say it again. Midwives told me in my last contraction NOT to push.....(his head was out.....) she said if you push, you will tear.. It took so much energy, focussing, and willpower NOT to push. My mind was in overdrive. It wasnt my body that prevented me from tearing....it was my mind.

YOur on the right track it seems.....GL.

[SammyRo]

quote: Doula's will tell you a woman who doesn't feel supported in life or during her pregnancy will often find her birth harder than a woman who has a lot of support

I totally agree with being supported by positive people - I totally didn't want any intervention (unless I or DD was at risk) - luckily, hubby was very supportive of these as was my mw - i was lucky enough to get a group practice mw so we had built up a great relationship and she was really aware of what i wanted. It turned out DD was posterior and after a good 20 odd hours of is it happening, is it not, I was exhasuted and decided to head to hospital earlier (all the while thinknig i just want pethadine to sleep) luckily by the time I got to the birthing centre, my lovely mw had the bath run, the aromatherpy going and I jumped in the bath and relaxed - and didn't ask for drugs at all. Because she was posterior, DD got stuck and it was a long, tiring process but even when I said I couldn't do it any longer, either DH or the mw would talk to me calmly about how i was doing so good, and then when the next urge to push would hit I would find the energy somehow and push with everything i had - even after 2 and a half hours of pushing (qhich followed a couple of hours where I had to actively stop myself from pushing).

quote: why can't more people talk about how wonderful & empowering birth can be ...

Yeah, you always hear the bad stuff!! well, DD's birth was wonderful, and it was very empowering - especially coz a few of the mw's thought I was a supermum for birthing a posterier bub with no intervention or drugs!! I remember talking to a lady about how long i was pushing for and she said "oh how barbaric" and I just said no, its what I wanted and it was fantastic! She looked at me a little oddly!!

quote: OMGOSH....yes...defn. I think the mind plays a huge role in conceiving and labour itself......

I've been thinking about this - we're ttc #2 and I keep having niggles about am I really ready, is it the right time...I don't think my mind is yet in the right head space - unlike first time round, when it happened straight away. Go away -ve thoughts!!


Anway, the point of the matter is - think positevely, surround yourself with positive and like minded people! and I think it will all work out how its meant to!

[traceybinns]

Absolutely! I hypnobirthed my daughter, last year when I was in New Zealand. When i did the hypnobirthing classes the instructor taught us all to visualise the exact birth experience that we wanted. i was way terrified of giving birth and "just knew"that i'd go over my due date. i went over by two weeks and the ob got edgey and insisted an induction. i kept trying to calm down and eventually managed to. my little girl's birth day ended up being really relaxed and calm but ihad to consciously focus on relaxing and my hypnobirth visualisations. it wasn't "exactly"like i visulised but pretty close.

[Ozziehoffy]

Deb, bless you. Well said! Totally agree.

Mel, like I said... anytime! I'm going to be here for you as you already know. I have some affirmations which I'll scan and email to you so you can get sticking them around. They have been on my fridge door since before Oskar was born...lol. Still there! Maybe that's saying something, maybe I'm not ready to have had my last lol. The hypnobirthing course you did doesn't sound like the full one which I really believe will help you a lot. I will get the lady's details for you asap. Love ya too honey xoxox.