Do you think your mind has a lot to do with going into labour?

[Arimeh]

Rambled thoughts are always the most interesting and meaningful.

PMSL.. thanks.. I think.. lol

Thanks everyone. Most of you know my history anyway, but for those that don't and took the time to reply (thank you!) - DS was an elective c/section, and Miss M was an "elective" c/section at 42 weeks. I don't class hers as an elective cos it was either get her out or have a dead baby - so not much "choice" there.

Cassius - yup will be doing hypnobirthing this time around. I did it last time, but I think it was like a short course or something, only went for a few hours and basically covered breathing in labour - and not much else.

As Cass (ozziehoffy) has discovered today on facebook, I have a lot of "isshooes" and realy need to work them out and let them go - so thanks for the cry Cass - love ya babe xx

[AliBaby]

LOL! I think my thoughts came out pretty rambled!

Thoughts are better out than in. Glad there is lots of love and support here for you

[Oorki Galoorki]

YES

so much my labour died in the bum when my MIL came over(we hada HB) then once she went for a walk with DS it ROARED back and DD was born as they walked in the door.

my mind was worried about having MIl there. so it slowed it down until she left.

[Laranna]

You know, I'd never really thought about it until you posted this thread Mel but yep I think the mind has a lot to do with going into labour. With DS I knew I was going to have an "elective" c/s at 38+4 weeks due to placenta praevia. I was freaking out the whole third trimester that he wouldn't be ready to come out then and was secretly wishing that I'd go into labour naturally. I did. My waters broke at 36+6, contractions 5 minutes apart. Laboured for 2 hours until they were ready to do the c/s. Bit earlier than expected but I think my wishful thinking paid off.

[Maruschke]

Mel - Yep I agree 100% with FC, your mind is your biggest birthing organ. I know just before I went into labour with DD1, I had mentally resigned myself to going way way overdue, and sorta just gave my body permission to do what it wanted when it wanted. I started having a show the next day...

You are a birthing machine and I truly believe that this bubba is going to come out of your vajayjay! You have some wonderful support people around you, and the right mindset. You can do this hun!

[Ozziehoffy]

Deb, bless you. Well said! Totally agree.

Mel, like I said... anytime! I'm going to be here for you as you already know. I have some affirmations which I'll scan and email to you so you can get sticking them around. They have been on my fridge door since before Oskar was born...lol. Still there! Maybe that's saying something, maybe I'm not ready to have had my last lol. The hypnobirthing course you did doesn't sound like the full one which I really believe will help you a lot. I will get the lady's details for you asap. Love ya too honey xoxox.

[Pretty Butterfly]

Ok babe, I'm back....

I have great births, so have no need to stress or worry, I love going into labour, it excites me.

But not with Kane. I cried EVERY night since his ultrasound about his cleft. From 39 weeks on, my body was ready, no doc would believe I'd be pregnant much longer!! I said to everyone how much I wanted him OUT!!! I was 3 cm dialated, fully thinned out, and he was #5!!. They couldn't understand why I wasn't going into labour.

But inside, I didn't want him yet. I was SOOOOO scared. Inside, he was still perfect, with no feeding problems, no being teased, no surgeries. I felt so horrible, but I wasn't ready to be responsible for him just yet..... Having him here was just TOO real for me....

They finally gave me an induction date, and I relaxed. I had a dead set certain time to prepare for. I KNEW when I had to be ready. I had 4 days, YAY!!

So of course that night I go into labour, and in 50 min he was here!!!!

And I truly believe I had willed him to stay, and my stress was a major barrier. Once it all went away, my simply gorgeous son came to a mum that was ready, relaxed, and ready to tackle anyone that picked on him!!!!

[Salsa]

definently

i also think you can put yourself in labour

My mum has always said that she had me when she wanted to by thinking herself into labour. She knew when she wanted me to come and prepared for that mentally.

[Jahzara]

My mum has always said that she had me when she wanted to by thinking herself into labour. She knew when she wanted me to come and prepared for that mentally.

My Mum would agree with that.
When she was due with both my brother and myself she knew she would have us on our due dates. She would get up the morning of our EDD and get everything ready cause as she would tell my Dad " i will be having the baby today". And she did both times. She said - she just knew it !

[jackrose]

It is my belief that your mind is your biggest birthing organ.

I totally agree!

Reading Ina May Gaskin's "Spiritual Midwifery" "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" and Pam England and Rob Horowitz's "Birthing from within" really helped me understand that.

I think that my mental state had a heap to do with me going into labour. My DD was due on Christmas eve and all through my pg I was definite that I did not want my baby born near Christmas, in fact I wanted her to be born as far away from that date as possible! I figured that the last date pre-christmas she could arrive was the 16 dec (I had a friend on that day and managed to celebrate her birthday without too much Christmas getting in the way!) otherwise I would be happy with anytime from New year on. So there was a no-go zone I was mentally setting up throughout my pregnancy . Of course, everyone told me and I certainly understood that babies can make their own minds up!

I guessed I would have DD later as first babies are often late, and besides, I was so busy trying to finish work and get ready for Christmas that I thought I can't possibly a birth in early! So in early December I was flat out organising Christmas presents to be sent to the family around the world and across the country, organising Christmas lunch etc, organising the house for DD and sorting out Maternity leave. On the 9th December I realised, its all done! I am ready! I remember getting a really calm feeling and thinking, right, we are ready for you now little one....

The next morning, we went out for brunch and I said to my DH, this is the last brunch we are going to enjoy baby free... I think today is the day I am going to go into labour. He laughed at me and dismissed it, then, at midnight that night my contractions started 10 min apart. DD was born on the 11th December, exactly 2 weeks before her EDD - definitely far enough away from Christmas!

In my case I felt my mind played a huge part!

I hope you find mental space you need for the arrival of your next LO, and I think that what you are doing with keeping details to yourself this time around is an excellent idea. It will create some safe mental space for you to be on your own clock! All the best!

[Ozziehoffy]

Reading more of the replies here Mel and you know I actually stalled Elijah's a little a few times because I let some doubt creep in whilst in labour. Once I got myself past it and back into my zone mentally it all progressed again. Then about 1/2 an hour before he was born they were talking about if I didn't start to progress more then they'd be back to talk about the "options" (another c/s) .... I got very primal and I remember consciously thinking to myself... you HAVE to do this NOW, you CAN do this! He then passed under my pubic bone where he'd been stuck and then was born not long after... I believed the mental side before but it just got me thinking and I thought I'd share that bit with you.

[fionas]

Yes, I think it does.

Our DSD was living with us at the time but was due to return to the US two days before DD's due date. I'm quite a private person and the idea of going into labour with DSD around wasn't something I wanted even though I very much wanted to DSD to meet DD. It was just the idea of being in labour with someone else around other than DP IYKWIM. So I reckon I was willing DD to hold on and come a bit later. I actually went into labour about three days after DSD had left but it was really, really slow.

I actually wasn't convinced I was in active labour when we went to the hospital - I was just sick to death of approaching my third night without sleep so made DP take me, mainly for a change of scene and I was sick of watching DP get some shut-eye while I was pacing the floor (or actually rolling around on the floor alone - DD was posterior and I couldn't get comfy).

I think once I got there, I felt safe and that's when active labour really began which I know is the opposite for a lot of people - their labour slows when they get to hospital.

So yeah, the mind is a funny thing and also our best tool I believe.

[Rouge]

100 %.

Doula's will tell you a woman who doesn't feel supported in life or during her pregnancy will often find her birth harder than a woman who has a lot of support. But the thing is too you CAN give this support to yourself if it isn't around you.

I took the pressure off myself with my VBAC. I didn't give a CRAP about when he decided to come. I think one of the biggest problems towards the end is people get impatient, and I'm not perfect. I did it with my first and I ended up with a labour that didn't progress past 3 cms. As corny and crappy as it is you need to relax. You need to NOT focus about the birth when you get to the end, you need to not worry about every second you get further away from your EDD. You had 9 months to focus on the birth you want, and plan best for that. Those last few weeks, just trust your body. And thats the biggest problem I think, is that women feel a lack of control and can't just trust that their body instinctively knows what to do.


*****TMI Alert***** Highlight to read...
Its like this (and I know this analogy has been thrown around a LOT) would you try to push a poo out even if you didn't have to go, just because you hadn't been to the toilet in 18 hours and that was way past what normally happened. No, you wouldn't. And not always do you need to reach for the laxatives either. Sometimes its just a matter of relaxing. I can tell you right now when I went camping a few months ago and we had to use a pit as a toilet I didn't poo for 3 days LOL! And even when I got home it didn't come straight away, but I didn't use laxatives and it came on its own :P Now I know pooing, and birth is different but we trust out bodies in soooooo many ways why is it we try and take over from our bodies in birth? If you trust your body, if you believe in yourself and you believe in your support (whether its your partner, your dr, your midwife or your doula) then you will be fine.

And some people like me need a little bit of help with that, which is why I did calmbirthing and affirmations. And I REPROGRAMMED myself. I was a different woman the second time around. And I birthed my son into this world after so many people said I wouldn't. And why? Because I trusted that I could. And I also did it for ME and for HIM. And I knew that at the end of the day whatever happened it wasn't because I was so stressed or freaked out.

Look up fight or flight and the effects on the uterus. Its really interesting and it makes a lot of sense.

And yes sometimes there are other things that prevent us from having a birth we would like, but at the end of the day for me I know I would rather take the mind games out of the equation

[Fleur]

I've been thinking about this a bit myself this pregnancy.

With my second I had such a great labour, I said many times after that I would have 10 more if they could all be like that.

When I fell PG with DS2 however all I suffered was anxiety, the whole pregnancy. First I was worried that I would lose the pregnancy, then that there would be something wrong with him, and finally that there would be a problem with the labour.

I went overdue and that was no surprise, as the first two had been late. But for the first time I wasn't impatient, or keen to see this baby. I wanted to stay pregnant as long as possible so that I didn't have to birth him. It wasn't that I didn't want him, just that I was scared of the labour. And I had no reason to be, looking at my second labour which was so wonderful there was no logical reason for me to be so scared.

The night before I went in for induction I was having panic attacks and thoughts that 'one of us won't be coming home'. It sounds ridiculous now, I know, but I was so so scared.

So, I was induced, the labour didn't progress and he ended up being an emergency CS.

I should point out - the CTG before induction showed signs of foetal distress - they went ahead anyway - and when he was born he had the cord wrapped well around him, he was so tangled in it they said that was why the labour didn't progress - he was literally tied up.

So it may or may not be that my state of mind held me up. Maybe it did, maybe I just knew there would be a problem. And maybe it was that my fears contributed to the delay in labour...

Obviously I have been thinking about it a lot this time around... fortunately I have not had as much fear, apart from what I consider normal worries, my 'gut feeling' this time is that everything will be fine. I'm even thinking I might not go so late this time!

FWIW Mel, I think the fact that you are beginning to consider things might go differently for you this time is great! I'm going to bet they DO go differently for you...you will have a great experience

It's such a shame that your friends and family put all that negativity out there....WHY do people do that I have had the same thing...why can't more people talk about how wonderful & empowering birth can be ...grrrr this is a vent for another time

So, wishing you all the best

[Mak]

YES!

DD1 - Waters broke and I freaked out, I had to be induced 16hours later as nothing happened. She was born ~ 8 hours later. It was an awful experience and I struggled for a long time.

DD2 - Induction was suggested due to GD, I was 2cm dilated from 36weeks and nothing happened. Only when Dr said they would let me go until 42 weeks did I relax and had bubs the next morning. Looking back my body was fighting my mind for the last 2 weeks. Amazing experience and recovery.

I hope you get the journey that you want. Take care and trust in yourself.

[Calluna]

I obviously haven't been through labor, as this is my first child but from the people I've spoken to it definitely seems to make a difference.
This discussion made me think of a poem that DP has hanging by our bed, so I posted it for everyone to have a read (here)

[*Beema*]

I think that the mind does have a lot to do with it.

I am not the best example when it comes to going over due...

I was the opposite, I thought that there was a pretty high chance I would go early, the day before I went into Labour I said to MIL, well I have two goals to meet, Tuesday (2 days later) as the baby Bonus went up , then 36 weeks so I could deliver in my private hospital, then bubs could come anytime after that. I believe that subconciously I knew labour was impending.

I still hadn't packed my bags, except for a couple of things that I bought new for them, but I did have all the camera's packed, chanrged, with clean memory cards.

The next day when my waters broke @ 33 weeks I was not at all worried, more like bugger I am not packed, it is early but not dangerously early (nephew was born at the same gestation), but I had no idea that I would be holding my baby 2 1/2 hours later.

I wasn't organised, but I guess I was ready... DD not quite so ready... but chance of stopping her!

I think I will likely go early next time as well, I hoping not as early, preferably 37 weeks but gee won't I get a shock if I crack 40 weeks!

I think what is important for you is to keep your dates private to avoid some of the pressure, I would even been tempted to say I was going to be a month later

But Mel, YOU CAN DO THIS, your BODY WILL DO THIS when IT IS READY, when YOU are READY.

You have a mountain of knowledge here to draw upon, and it is fabulous to see that you have already started to put things in place, start early

[rufalina]

Great thread. It has given me so much to think about. Thanks all so much for sharing and Mel for starting the conversation. Going to go and look up those books suggested and really think about calmbirthing classes. Cheers!!!

Hope DH is cool with me plastering the house with birthing affirmations!!!