I had a 14hr long labour with my 1st bub - but i ended up having a epi (which i still get so upset about) and with the epi i had that drug that brings on ur contractions quicker and faster, so maybe thats why it was only 14hrs.
When i fall pregnant again (not any time soon) i would really like to do it all on my own without any drugs - but i dont want it to be quicker, i actually want it to be longer, so its kinda like my 1st all over again, and hopefully that will help me get over the dissapointment of how my 1st labour went - what are my chances of a longer labour 2nd time round?
Am i weird for wanting a longer labour? hahaha
My first labour was long (18 hours), painful (posterior bub) and ended badly (CS under a general anasthetic). My second was pretty short (about 7 hours) still very painful but much much better. It too didn't end as I planned as my little VBAC monkey turned posterior at the last moment and didn't come down properly. She was helped into her Mummy arms with an epi and a forceps delivery. I think if I had a third (which I"M NOT), it might be easier again. I was better prepared the second time, I understood what my body and my baby wanted to do, the pain didn't scare me and I didn't lose control like I did the first time.
I think most subsequent labours would be easier or better as the experience of the first helps enormously.
i dont want it too be easier or any less painfull and i don't want it too be only a couple of hours long - i want to be able to prove to myself that i can do it, and not fail 2nd time round and give into a epi!
hahaha i guess only time will tell!
i did fail in a way- cause i should of stood my ground and put off having the epi when they all recommended it too me.
I was against it the whole pregnancy - so why did i give in so easily?
2nd time round im determined to not give in! I know i can do it, i just hope i have a long 2nd labour!
I know exactly how you feel! With ds1 I had an epidural as they thought I was only in early labour as it turned out I was 9cm already! I felt so ripped off and like I'd failed because I had an epidural. My whole labour was 10 hours. Second time round I was much more confident in my body's ability to give birth, we also did a calmbirth course which really helped me stay relaxed and focused, and had a drug free birth, the labour was around 5 hours from the start of contractions. Even though my second was much quicker I actually enjoyed it more as I felt in control and wasn't scared. Every birth is just so different. I also look back and wish it was longer as I actually enjoyed the labour this time round and felt like I could do it all over again! I actually said to dh about 10 minutes after I gave birth I want to do that again! How weird am I?!
hj - It is really hard when you feel like you have failed during your birth. Talk as much as you can here to debrief, but one thing I would say it not to focus on the time of either birth as you can't really control that. What you can do though it make sure you are well supported going into your second birth, and know what you want and have the resources to stand firm. You might find that Hypnobirthing classes might help, books like New Active Birth might help with positioning and pain relief etc. There is alot you can do to make sure you have an empowered birth second time around hun- just do your research and get loads of support - maybe look into have a doula next time too.
SweetPea - so has 2nd time round helped u get over the "dissapointment" of the first?
I hate what im feeling about my 1st labour - its something i have looked forward to for so long, i know at the time i was scared and that prob helped things turn out the way it was, but gosh i wish i could just move on and not think so much about it!
2nd time round has to be longer!!!! hehehe maybe i will just keep my legs shut! hahaha
Thanks Tan! i know i need to stop focousing on my feelings of failing - but im struggling at the mo! everytime i look at Bianca im reminded!
im going to do what ever i can to get the birth that i wanted next time! got awhile to prepare tho! hehehe
HJ - i think you need to take focus off the hours factor and put it on having an empowering birth - no matter how long you're in labour - some women go through several weeks of prelabour and have a really short but productive birth - that's what you need to focus on. hours mean nothing, it's all in how empowered you feel during the birth. if you focus your energy on the amount of time you labour as your yardstick for a satifying delivery, you will likely end up disappointed - each birth is different, and saying that you laboured less so it wasn't fulfilling is doing an injustice. focus on what you can do in yourself to have a more satisfying birth - but ignore time constraints. time in itself is going to be a negative experience - it's like hospitals saying if you're not dialating a cm a minute after induction, you're failing to progress and need a c/s - you're essentially saying if you DO progress a cm a minute, you're not doing it right, and you won't be happy
hope that makes sense - the focus should be on an empowering birth for everyone - clock watching won't help the process at all!
Thanks Briggy'sgirl - u do make sense - im not sure why im totally focoused on time - i think its because i feel if i have a longer labour than i will have time to right all my wrongs, i will have time to do what i want to do etc.. as opposed to it happening so quickly that once again i have little control over it! how do u have an empowering birth if it all happens to quick?
BW recently had her bub - 8 hours from when it started to when it was all over - she did it naturally (used gas that's it) - i don't think it's about how long you labour, it's about how strong you feel during the process
from what i'm reading in your OP, your biggest issue was that you gave into fear of pain and had the epi - if that's the case, then you need to work your way through your fears, find ways to manage your pain and your anxieties - and at the end of your labour, no matter how long it is, if you haven't given into them, you've had a more empowered birth. you've done it on your terms, you've managed your fears etc
i'll be 10000% honest - i'm shiat scared of labor - i have serious anxiety issues - panic attacks etc - my focus over the next 20 weeks is to work out how to manage them in labor. i have no issue with intervention (i'm likely to need induction due to BP and potential GD issues) - i'm more concerned with letting fear overwhelm me and taint whatever birthing experience i have. if i can manage to not allow fear to overcome me, everything else i will be able to accept. if i manage to labour naturally, it will be awesome - and again, i need to be able to overcome fear of pain, fear of failure, and allow my labour to progress as it should.
again - hope that makes sense - it's something on my mind a lot at the moment too
Just thought I would let you know that even if you are induced with subsequent babies it does not always go the same. I was induced at 38wks due to pre e and went 17 1/2hrs, had morphine, and epi. at the time was happy that bub was healthy and me to. Second induced again at 39 wks, due to pre e again, just under 4 hr labour used pethadine and gas. Third induced overdue 3.5hrs gas mainly peth 30 min before birth, not for contraction pain but for spd as the pain in pelvis was so bad would not push at it hurt to much.
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Will my 2nd one be quicker?
Talk as much as you can here to debrief, but one thing I would say it not to focus on the time of either birth as you can't really control that. What you can do though it make sure you are well supported going into your second birth, and know what you want and have the resources to stand firm. You might find that Hypnobirthing classes might help, books like New Active Birth might help with positioning and pain relief etc. There is alot you can do to make sure you have an empowered birth second time around hun- just do your research and get loads of support - maybe look into have a doula next time too.
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