I think I'm leaning towards a caesar, it's just so hard because I really wanted to experience the 'normal' birth.
You could still go in to labour yourself and then go to have hospital for the caesar.

If you choose a caesar, there are ways to make it right for you. i like the idea of Maternal assisted c section, and i read of another woman who organised for her baby to be birthed from her tummy ( c section) slowly and in a few different steps so it was closer to a vaginal birth experience for the baby.