Hi Jennifer,
The Pink Kit has some good suggestions on what they call "internal work" - it's like perineal massage plus plus. It helps you get familiar with your anatomy as well as conditioning the tissues. The idea is that you can feel what is happening when the baby is descending, and through practice, know when to really relax and breath out and let the baby through. My second baby was born very fast and I tore a little bit. Third baby I was determined to avoid that. So I consciously back-pedalled when I was close to crwoning. The midwife was yelling at me to push harder. But I was deliberately slowing down to avoid a tear. It worked. Another idea is that when you know you're just about there, there are two forces helping to bring the baby out: one is the expulsive force of the uterus. The other is your volitional pushing. If you have both forces at the same time, it can be a double whammy which can cause a tear. So sometimes they suggest you give a little volitional push in between contractions, so you have only one of those strong forces happening at a time.
At the last birth I attended, the midwife and I made heaps of warm compresses wih olive oil squirted on them, then applied to the perineum. I thought that was a nice touch!
You won't automatically need an episiotomy and if you want to work towards avoiding one, you can. I hope you can find a midwife who will support you in this goal. Hope all goes very well.