Fast births leaving you shell shocked

[shan23]

Its so weird that I felt almost like I had failed somehow, I felt silly for feeling and saying that I couldnt do it. Which I then felt silly for feeling like that, as logically I knew that was ridiculous and I had done it! I had got my drug free birth, and of course I felt like I couldnt do it as hello I was in transition as soon as things got real. Df surprised me, he had always said I should just get drugs asap. Each time I said I wanted some he would say "no you dont, you're doing it! You're doing it how you want!". Helped get me to the peak anyway before I got my breathing into it. Inbetween contractions I was fine, I was laughing (even in the breaks between pushing!), chatting, apologising for swearing so much lol and was so relaxed. I wonder why feeling that sense of achievement took time to come, so odd. I can honestly say now though it was amazing. Intense, fast, painful... but amazing. I am wowed at how my body just completely too over, it knew what to do and was doing it. My head just couldnt keep up!