My Mum & sister did prior apologies to the midwife about my proabablility of screaming filthy words at her etc & not coping well at all & literally abusing everyone in sight!!!

Yet, I simply breathed (in a mooing type fashion & can see & hear it on my video) through each contraction & the nurse giggled & said you can make noise but I must say I was so focused & listening to what my body was doing I felt this was my way of coping...

When the head was crowning I said "OOOH ****!" but quietly ina whis[per like to myself, that's when my sister got the hot pad of water....
Then the nurse grabbed my hand to feel the head & I realised my little hole was now swollen & tretched beyond recognition & freaked & drew my hand back so damn quickly! Soon after I was instructed one more push & she was out!!! I can still remember not noticing what was going on around me I was so focused & only concerned with what my body was saying & doing...
I hope I can be as calm & focused with this one...

God I hope I don't become some crazed maniac !!!!! #-o