When I was born and they placed me on Mum's chest and the midwife said "awww isn't she beautiful giver her a kiss" to which my mother replied "Ewwwww no she's ugly and slimy and digusting, you kiss her!"


I was in hdelivery with my bestie for both her labours and with the first they had the gas up a little high and the room started spinning and she suddenly goes "Oh wow, it's like being in a car wash without the water!"


I have no doubt I will say something totally inappropriate and stupid when my time is here, I usually do, but at our IVF clinic's Xmas party a few weeks ago when my FS asked how I was doing I told him to make sure he had his phone on at all times in April as I had every intention of calling him to come in just so I could scream "You b@#$%rd, you did this to me!" at someone!