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Thread: Help!! Bonding w/ baby dilemma

  1. #1
    yvette Guest

    Default Help!! Bonding w/ baby dilemma

    Hi everyone,

    It's my first pregnancy and Im 22 weeks pregnant now My hubby and I just moved to Seoul, Korea 7 weeks ago for his work. Initially,we are planning to have a baby in Melbourne but we found a very competent Korean doctor and with good neo natal care hospital. My only concern is that their hospital's policy after giving birth ,is they will have to take my bub for 8hrs for observation. Im actually having a dilemma on this if this is ok or not. MOst of the women I've talked to said it shouldnt be that way and some said I will still be very tired and will not have energy to breastfeed. I just want the best for my bub and to be able to bond with her and breastfeed right away .



    Appreciate for any advice that anyone can give. Really dont know what to do.
    Many thanks and hope everyone is keeping well.
    Yvette

  2. #2

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    Maybe the 8 hours of obs is once you have had that initial bonding/first feeding session? If so, then a lot of hospitals do that anyway, and will bring bubs in for a feed when they need it to try to let you get some rest. Have you found out exactly what goes on during this 8 hrs and if they do bring the baby to you if need be?

  3. #3

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    Sherie, what hospitals do you know of that do that?? I think it sounds really odd.
    Yvette, You should be able to have you baby with you & Breastfeed as soon as your baby is born. There is no real reason your baby should have to go to nursery for Obs. If this was the only option available to me I wouldn't be having my baby there.

  4. #4

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    I can't imagine that they are going to prevent you feeding the baby during that 8hrs. That seems all a little unreasonable?
    I would be trying to find out a little more. You may find that as Sherie says they bring the baby into your regularly for feeding, or even the obs are completed with you around!
    Rest is good - but maybe for the first 8hrs or so they can come and check on you with the baby, and do the temps and everything there.
    Looking back the whole time I was in hossy with Jenna they checked her temp regulary, checked her feeding and her outputs, so obs are carried out in every hospital - its just the manner in which they do them I spose?

  5. #5

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    Yvette - I didn't get to bond with charlie for 26hours! - he got flewn to melbourne and i wasn't allowed to leave until the next day so by the time i got there it was 26 hours since he had been born and was gone. I still bf - i expressed colustrum to start with and it went to melbourne with him and then as soon as i got there i bf - it was hard. i have heard of that happening in certain societies were you don't get your baby for 8 hours.
    Even though i didn't get to hold charlie for 26 hours the minute we did it was an instant bond.
    I hope it all works out for you.

  6. #6

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    I will just correct myself. I meant what hospitals take the baby for that first 8 hours. I know they all do Obs. Isla had all that done for the first 24 hours. But she never left myside.

  7. #7
    yvette Guest

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    Many thanks for all your advice.

    I think it's how it is in Asian country, they take babies away to the nursery so mothers can have a rest. Im Asian but I still find it very odd. When I asked my dr. and try to find out more about it she flared up a bit and made me uncomfortable. She said,normally milk will not come out for the first 2 days and mothers need to take a rest. I dont think its true for all mothers? They wont even bring my bub to me for feeding. By the sound of it, bub will be in the nursery for 8hrs.
    When does the collostrum start? For you Jacci,did you express collostrum right away after giving birth?
    I think I should start to look for more options. My hubby didnt want to go elsewhere as he really is impressed with the neonatal care in the hosp.
    Thanks heaps again for all your replies.

  8. #8

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    Many mothers can express collostrum well before they even give birth. Its there for word go (lol or word PUSH!). Its really improtant to help esablish your milk supply to have the baby with you & offered the breast as often as you & the baby like.
    I would strongly enocourage you to either find a Dr/maternity unit that is going to allow you to be with your baby & allow for rooming in from the start.
    Gather lots of information that supports your choices & reasons for wanting this so you can give them to your health care provider. Don't let them bully you into doing things anyway different to want you want. ITS YOUR BABY.

  9. #9

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    Yvette, as FionaJill said, the colostrum should be there straight away and the baby usually starts looking for it straight away after birth, or not long after. My second son was reasonably small born and I was told he had to take colostrum every 3 hours or he would have to have formula top ups. I bet they give the bubs formula if they are away from mum for 8 hours. I would ask this question. And I agree, I wouldn't want to go 8 hours without feeding the bub. I didn't need the rest.

    Good luck, I hope it works out for you. And don't let that doctor intimidate you. You have rights and you are not being unreasonable.

  10. #10

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    I agree that its very important for your baby to get that first colostrum, and to attach to your breast straight away. Sure your milk wont come in for a couple of days, but your baby will be looking for that colostrum in its first 8 hours of life I would assume.

    I think its great that you are gathering information and keeping informed. Please stand up to what you believe in - it is your baby after all. They should not be able to make you do anything you do not want to.
    Goodluck!

  11. #11

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    You may be tired the day after, but after giving birth i found that i was more pumped up than ever, i so couldnt sleep!! No WAY would i be letting my baby out of my sight!!

    Good luck, i hope you work something out

  12. #12

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    I suppose each country has their own way of going about things ( when I was born in Poland my dad couldnt see me until my mum was discharged from the hospital )
    Can you see if they will let you bond with the baby first and THEN take the baby ??
    Personally , I spent time with my baby straight after birth - and then the midwife took her for a couple of hours so I could get some sleep ( and sober up after all the pain medication ! )
    It didnt affect the bonding between us at all

  13. #13
    Fruitwood Guest

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    Hi, it's personal preference. When I had my daughter I held her straight after she was born but after that I had no interest in her. I was really sick and vomiting so she went under lights to keep her warm. I couldn't breastfeed and thought I was a complete failure and really didn't want to touch her for the first couple of days. None of this stopped me bonding with her though and we have a strong bond even though I'm currently battling PND and have bottlefed from Day 3. Can you sit with your baby, while they are in observation? If it's really what you want to do, you should fight for it. I let alot of midwives influence me whilst I was giving birth and have a lot of regrets which I think has played abig part in my PND. Please don't let this happen to you, if you believe strongly in something go for it. It doesn't hurt to keep asking questions. Best of Luck.

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    I think it's important to point out here the health benefits of colostrum to the baby - it so GOOD for them. FionaJill, you might like to expand a little on this issue! (Or anyone else for that matter).

    I personally wouldn't be letting anyone take my baby away from me, unless s/he needed urgent treatment. You have to do what's best for you and your baby. Don't let anyone bully you into taking those choices away from you!

  15. #15

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    You have colostrum to keep bubs fed *whilst* you wait for your milk to come in! It's not a matter of 'milk only'....the way we are created is 'colostrum first, milk later'!

    Definately check out other hospitals....I recently gave birth and my milk didn't come in for four days but until then Caty was at my breast getting the colostrum, because she needed it!

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