Help me convince DF to allow DS at his siblings birth

[Calluna]

So I would love to have DS at his siblings birth but DF is pretty well dead set against it. What can I do/say to convince him?
Hes not big on reading (as in he really resists it!) So it needs to be things I can put to him to discuss and be able to answer his questions. Ie not too complicated to remember. Lol

How would it be beneficial for DS, DF and myself respectively?
DS will be 4 and a couple of months by that time. I will arrange for someone to be there to take care of him so we dont have to worry about him and he can be taken out if things dont go to plan or he needs to go for a walk or food or something.

Also, what can I do to help prepare him? I have been watching homebirth videos with him and he was really interested and loved watching the babies come out. If you have any birth videos you recomend for children Id be interested. I know Ive seen great, more detailed ones on YouTube but I cant find any, they are all quite dark and hard to see things like the head emerging etc.

Anything else you can offer/that you did would be much appreciated.

[Calluna]

[CinderToriella]

Are you birthing At home , hospital etc ?
As a lot of hospitals don't normally allow kids to be there ..

[Calluna]

Hospital. I will speak to my midwife on Monday about it when he comes to do my booking in appointment. Im in the midwifery group program so Im hoping that will offer a bit more flexibility.

[CinderToriella]

Yeah def something to ask them
I would love for DD to be there at her siblings birth as well ...
What are the reasons DF has said no ?

[Cassius2]

I can recommend 'our easy birth' on YouTube. we watched that loads of times to get our kids ready...there are kids in that video too which i think normalises it all.

I can also HIGHLY recommend a birth vid posted in the HB section from one of our members that had her DD at the birth. it was all so normal and lovely and very relaxed and i would say that that would be a really good one to watch with DH as well as he can then see a non-gory, but normal happy birth with siblings and a cool-with-it-all Dad ITMS...makes it normal, not weird IYKWIM.

the benefits for siblings are just as important as for partners. it is about family and creating those deep, immediate bonds. on a biological level it also gives off amazing oxytocin for all present in the room (the hormone of love!) and this can really really be beneficial for siblings to experience this and helps with connection. i mean, to me it makes perfect sense. but yeah, i do recommend a support person for your DS as labour can actually be really boring for them until birth time (or at the very least lots of activity books/dvds etc).

[Calluna]

He just doesnt like the idea. Im not really sure why. He couldnt give me an answer. Just turned it around and asked why I wanted him there. So Im hoping if I can give him some known positives we can have a proper conversation about it and he'll see my point of view.

Thanks Cassius! Off to check them out.

[Calluna]

Cassius, do you know where or who posted the video in the homebirth section? I dont know where to start looking lol

[little_mrs]

I would love for dd to be at this next birth too, but dh says it'll scare her seeing me in pain. Maybe that's why your df isn't easy with the idea?

[Cassius2]

Here is the awesome video that I found really good for my kids and for DH

Madeleine's Birth - a HBAC video - Documenting Delight

[Calluna]

Thanks Cassius! Ill watch it tonight.

LittleMrs- possibly. Ill try and get him talking about it, see if I can drag any info out of him.

[Teeki]

I know you said he doesn't like reading, but I thought this bb article was great and gave it great perspective from the child's point of view. Maybe just tell it to him in note form, or pick out the best bits?

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/siblings-at-birth

[CinderToriella]

Just wondering how you went with this . Did you ask the hospital on their policy with kids there ? x

[RainbowRiver]

My eldest literally begs to be at her siblings birth, but Ive said no. I don't feel it's appropriate for her as its at a hospital (and she's not allowed anyhow, so that stops the thought in its tracks). I allow her to watch YouTube videos instead!

[Calluna]

Still waiting to hear back from the hospital. I will prepare DS the same either way as I want him to understand the process anyway.

Haven't brought it up again with df yet, not much point arguing about it if the hospital won't allow it anyway