Reply With QuotePffft! Tell DF to find evidence that you should stay in. it is your decision where you want to stay. You have your own reasons. He has to come up with a good reason for you to make your decision on.
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Help me prove a point!
So we are booked in to a birth center & assuming everything goes well they will send you home around 6 hours after the birth. Which is good, I can go home with DD & the new bub, relax at home, only have to listen to my child & baby & not heaps of other babies all night.
Now here's the problem, DF wants me to stay at least 1 night in hospital & I dont want to.
I need some information/websites to prove that going home is better than staying in the hospital
TIA
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Pffft! Tell DF to find evidence that you should stay in. it is your decision where you want to stay. You have your own reasons. He has to come up with a good reason for you to make your decision on.
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:yeahthat: If it wasn't ok, they wouldn't let anyone do it
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I was under the impression that if you were with the birth centre, you couldn't stay. If you wanted to stay then you would have to go through the normal delivery area. That's what I was told when I was with the birth centre for both my girls anyway. Maybe your BC midwife could have a chat to him about it and explain things?
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If you want to stay they transfer you to the maternity ward.
He's the type of person who if you show him something in writing proving it, he'll turn around & go "oh ok, so it is better" and that'll be the end of it.
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lol tell him to stay the night with u, im sure he'll change his mind quick smart!!!
tell him u know the signs to look for and will return to the hospital if u need to and that the midwives will be out to your house anyway, so theres no real need for u to stay in a lit up, loud environment when u could be comfortably snuggled up in your own bed
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My advice would be make your decision at the time your baby is born. It may be that you have your baby in the evening, so a 6 hour stay means an overnight stay. Or you may have a 6 hour discharge planned and feel too poorly to leave (I did after my twins, just because I was a little anaemic and had lost some blood at the birth) so stay longer than you had initially planned.
Equally you may have your baby and your OH panic at the thought of leaving the two of you in hospital overnight whilst he goes home, or he may be so impressed with how well and strong you are that arguing to keep you in longer seems pointless.
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SE suburbs - Angliss?
The stay there is 24 hours, so that would be o/night for the first night, and then its home visits from the midwife for the next 5 days. Community support in the home leads to lower rates of PND and better bonding of the family.
This is covered in the brochure ...
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I agree with having a chat to the MW. Would your DH's mind be put at ease from talking to someone in the profession?
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
I guess the longer you're in hospital the higher the chance of infection...?
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6 hours is ample time to ensure you are fine. What is his reasoning for you to need to stay one night? The only thing you will gain from it is a sore back... their beds are horrible! I think considering you are the one who is expected to do it his way, he needs to prove to you WHY - not the other way around.
Or
You could always avoid having to prove anything and go straight for the humorous smackdown.
"Sorry honey, but after giving birth to your child, I am going to need my bed more than your girlfriend is".
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How about both of you just wait and see what eventuates and how the whole experience pans out before any decision is made. It might take him to see that you are actually ok instead of assuming that is the case? should you actually need or feel the need to stay after all, then no one is on a 'told you so' or 'geez wish I had listened' angle. Everyone's a winner!
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DH wants me to be in hossie a day or so for a few reasons - he wants to the time with Bumpy before new bubs comes home, he wants me to be well rested and have some clear uninterrupted bonding time with new bubs before returning where Bump will be also demanding of my time and that of the new bubs....
Have a think about it form his point of view as well, and ask him why it is he wants you to stay in overnight. His concerns are just a valid as yours
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
Can't help you with a study I'm afraid. I do know that with #1, I had him around 1:30pm and I think we left the next morning. We were first time parents though, so the overnight stay while I figured out breastfeeding was good. We were so ready to leave in the morning though. Hospital is boring. Don't forget your DP is allowed to stay overnight too, you might want to sleep and he can get up to bub - that's if your DD is getting looked after. And other babies aren't so much of a problem in the FBC.
As the others have said, see how you go. If you birth in the morning, I can understand wanting to sleep in your own bed that night. But who knows, you might give birth in the late arvo, and they won't discharge you overnight I don't think, *I think* they like a paed to see your bub first, and they're mostly around in the day.
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Thank you everyone for your replies. Ive decided to make the decision while Im there but also to tell him if I "HAVE" to stay the night so does he. I think he thinks he gets a night off from us if we stay overnight because DD is going to my mum's place while we are at the hossy
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I would have loved to go home that soon after delivery of my last, I despise hospitals, yet was lucky enough to get one of the few private double rooms at my hospital. Yet they were reluctant to let me leave after 2 days because I tested positive for strep and they had trouble testing bubs. Definetly keep it open, but i'm with you, home all the way, if we have a third, I will be doing eveything in my power to minimise any stay in hospital.
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FWIW I was at the Angliss birth center & there is no minium time you have to stay they just have to do a baby check first & then you have midwife visits at home for 4 days. We went home after 7 hours
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I am so interested in this, because I want early discharge, and MIL is whingeing about it from two states away, blah blah blah not long enough. As SIL made her see, though, if you get early discharge and then have home visits (which I would) then you actually get one on one care from your midwife, and they're not going to get dragged out in the middle of it, or be too rushed because of something happening in the hallway etc.
I will hunt for stuff in writing too. Let's make it a mission! (I love missions)
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