Lucy, I think that its really fantastic that you have chosen to go against convention to have a more positive birth experience. I really hope that your friend's recovery is sufficient to allow her to be at your baby's birth and that you can find a student doula to assist you as well.
Its wierd how times change isn't it. Once upon a time if the father was at the birth it was unusual, now its such an accepted convention for fathers to be present that women will often allow thier baby's fathers into the delivery even when it goes against thier better judgement. Just because something is conventional doesn't really mean that its right for everyone.
My sister's husband was at the birth of thier first child but he was so upset by the sight of my sister in pain that she asked him not to come in when she was in labour the second time. Although it was unconventional it was what was right for them and without the added stress of BIL freaking out my sister coped much better the second time around.