I LOVE my obstetrician and his 'funny' little theories...

[fionas]

I really do love my obstetrician. These are the reasons I loved him in my last pregnancy:

1. He told me that DD would be between 8 and 9 pounds just by feeling my tummy. She was 8lbs 10oz. No messing around with ultrasounds, just a feel. And he told me what size clothes to buy!

2. When I was freaking out, as first-time mothers do, about the prospect of labour and wanting to have a natural birth if possible but not sure if I could do it without pain relief, he said that it's very rarely about pain threshold, it's the length of the labour that determines whether someone uses pain relief and you should NEVER compare your labour with someone else's. So true. I had an epidural after being in labour for a very long time. It was the time factor rather than the pain that prompted the decision.

3. He told me every time he used the doppler that DD was "a very active baby." Now, of course, he may say that to everyone but it is so true. DD is always on the go. I watch other toddlers holding their parents' hands walking down the street and I often wish DD would do that! Oh no, she's off running.

4. He told me that shoe size does have an influence on your pelvis size and therefore 'ability" (I hate that word) to vaginally birth a baby. I actually went in there with that question or I don't think we would have talked about it but he says he looks out for it and picked me as a size 5.5 shoe size. Very small for my height 166cm.

5. He never weighed me or measured my fundal height.

6. He listened to my concerns about having PND based on my past history of depression. He didn't fob me off but reassured me that it was treatable if I found myself in that situation and that I was really smart for acknowledging that it MAY be a problem.

I went back to see him the other day to see what we could do about my lingering SPD (pelvic pain) from my last pregnancy and if there was anything we could do differently in my next labour to avoid it being so bad post-natally the next time around. We had quite a long discussion in the course of which he also covered off:

1. What I can expect in a next labour. He predicts a 4 hour labour. Woohoo - after a very long labour last time that is very encouraging. He bases this on the fact that I had a big baby last time and a long labour which means that my body has been prepped. Now, I would normally take that with a pinch of salt but the fact that he's been so spot-on about so many other things makes me believe him.

1. My question about how come DD was quite a big baby (on the 90th percentile at 8lbs 10oz) but she now sits at the 15th percentile and is such a skinny minny. This caused no end of problems in the early days as I was having trouble breastfeeding and her lack of weight gain was a huge pressure as she was literally sliding down the scale. Mr Ob said that birth weight actually has no bearing on our ultimate weight - it is more to do with culture and that pale-skinned Celtic-originned people (like myself) tend to grow really big placentas and hence have large babies. He himself was a 10lb-er and he'd be lucky if he was 75kg now.

2. Fertility. He says a good rule of thumb is skin elasticity. I said, "OK, how long d'you reckon I've got" and he said after feeling my wrist, that my skin is pretty good and he thinks I've got a good couple of years yet. OBVIOUSLY, I would not rely on that on timing a pregnancy but I did think it was interesting especially as I didn't get any stretchmarks last time and had a tiny tear with a biggish baby and forceps so I DO reckon my skin is pretty good for a near 40-year-old.

And the real reason I love him is that he loves babies. I didn't take DD to this appointment because she would have created havoc in the waiting room but his first question was, "where's your daughter?"

What theories has your ob come up with and do you believe them?

[smiles4u]

Geez, i'm soooo jealous Fiona as i remember my OB reminding me on nearly appointment that i'm of an older age & he would look at me with a glare over his shoulder like i'm doing something wrong ... Yeh, like i didn't know my own age thanks very much

Well, i had a drug-free labour at the age of 40 and had a beautiful healthy baby ... what more could anyone ask for ... So, i say thumbs up to your OB Fiona (and thumbs down to the twit i had ... might i add two gorgeous midwives helped my DD enter this world & they both came to her 1st b'day party !!!)

[LimeSlice]

I didnt have an ob, I had a midwife - but she was fabulous!


The first time I did see an ob (the one on duty through the clinic) I told him I wanted it noted that I did not want drugs during labor (both for choice and for religious reasons) and he LAUGHED at me and told me that when I was in labor I wouldn't know what I wanted - only HE would know that and he would advise me then and not now. I told him to sod off.
The next time I saw an ob it was him again, he gave me an internal from which I bled so heavily they actually had to admit me for observation...

He had theories - I did not believe him! lol

Next time, I want your ob!!

[BellyBelly]

Shoe size and pelvis size???

Pelvises I Have Known And Loved

One of the midwife “tricks” that we were taught was to ask the mother’s shoe size. If the mother wore size five or more shoes, the theory went that her pelvis would be ample. Well, 98 percent of women take over size five shoes so this was a good theory that gave me confidence in women’s bodies for a number of years. Then I had a client who came to me at eight months pregnant seeking a home waterbirth. She had, up till that time, been under the care of a hospital nurse-midwifery practise. She was Greek and loved doing gymnastics. Her eighteen-year-old body glowed with good health, and I felt lucky to have her in my practise until I asked the shoe size question. She took size two shoes. She had to buy her shoes in Chinatown to get them small enough – oh dear. I thought briefly of refreshing my rusting pelvimetry skills, but then I reconsidered. I would not lay this small pelvis trip on her. I would be vigilant at her birth and act if the birth seemed obstructed in an unusual way, but I would not make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. She gave birth to a seven-pound girl and only pushed about twelve times. She gave birth in a water tub sitting on the lap of her young lover and the scene reminded me of “Blue Lagoon” with Brooke Shields - it was so sexy. So that pelvis ended the shoe size theory forever.

Another group of pelvises that inspire me are those of the pygmy women of Africa. I have an article in my files by an anthropologist who reports that these women have a height of four feet, on average. The average weight of their infants is eight pounds! In relative terms, this is like a woman five feet six giving birth to a fourteen-pound baby. The custom in their villages is that the woman stays alone in her hut for birth until her membranes rupture. At that time, she strolls through the village and finds her midwives. The midwives and the woman hold hands and sing as they walk down to the river. At the edge of the river is a flat, well-worn rock on which all the babies are born. The two midwives squat at the mother’s side while she pushes her baby out. One midwife scoops up river water to splash on the newborn to stimulate the first breath. After the placenta is birthed the other midwife finds a narrow place in the cord and chews it to separate the infant. Then, the three walk back to join the people. This article has been a teaching and inspiration for me.

That’s the bottom line on pelvises – they don’t exist in real midwifery. Any baby can slide through any pelvis with a powerful uterus pistoning down on him or her.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

My old boss told me I'd give birth naturally with size 10 shoes... fat chance. It's more down to the support than the shoes. True for all life. Even in shoes it's more down to the support than the shoe.

I was told off for measuring too small with the fundal height and sent for extra scans as I was clearly starving my baby - I wasn't putting on weight either so I must be on a diet.

I was told personal depression and a family history of depression and PND meant nothing, I'd be fine, don't worry, not even a comment in my notes.

I never freaked out about pain relief because I knew I wouldn't need it to give birth - I didn't get to do that so did need pain relief, much to the satisfaction and "I told you so" of the midwives.

And this is part of the reason I'm not ever going to have a baby or give birth.

[Epacris]

Fiona, thanks so much for sharing, I really enjoyed reading that!

I LOVE my ob too. I found him when I needed a D&C (my first pregnancy was a blighted ovum) and now he's been with me on my journey to DS and DD.

The thing I loved about him most was he would constantly say with great enthusiasm "You're a Natural!". Who knows whether I actually was natural or not but, it made me feel like I could be. Those little boosts of confidence can just make all the difference.

[Nai]

I don't know about all of them but I know that I have really good skin elasticity and have fallen pregnant twice in the first go (yes the ACTUAL first try - twice) at the ages of 33 and 36 when I should technically have declining fertility..... so maybe some truth there.

[Meo]

Hi Fiona, I'm in Northcote too, just wondering if you could tell me the name of your Ob? I may be in the market for one soon as my fertility specialist just makes the babies, doesn't deliver them

Thanks.

[Jellyfish]

He sounds like a good guy! I absolutely adore my obstetrician, also! He didn't have many theories but was so kind and supportive. I had a drug-free labour with no tears, cuts or stitches and he said how proud he was of me -- it meant the world to hear that.

[BellyBelly]

Epacris - I think EVERYONE is a natural no matter what the circumstance, birth is a natural, biological thing, and the more educated and informed you are, the more confident and empowered you will feel. Like anything in life, I think confidence and esteem has to come from within - you can't rely on others to give it to you (hence SELF esteem ). I think with an Ob there can be an auto distinction of a medical 'expert' vs 'passive consumer' and it's not a healthy thing... you can still have a medical 'expert' and be incredibly empowered, natural and confident.

Like they say on the Business of Being Born, consumers can see the Ob as an expert giving them advice or telling them what to do and the Ob sees it as giving an option.

[LaDeeDa]

Fionas can you PM me the name of your OB ....just for next time :wink:

[Cassius2]

thanks for sharing that Fionas!

um, i guess there were no outright words of wisdom from my OB as such. he DID tell me that at my last appt at 38 weeks that the next time he would see me would be in a couple of days at the hospital having the baby...DD was born 38 +2 weeks!

i loved the way that when i asked about induction timings he refused to even talk about it until i was at least 10 days over. gotta love the intervention reluctance!

pity we live in a different city now.

[bon]

Fiona - its great to hear that you had such a positive experience

[Smoz]

oh FIona your OB sounds so much like mine!

It's such a special and wonderful relatoinship when you find the right one!

I went to an all girls school Loreto Coorparoo and after DS1 whislt at my 6wk check up and during my papsm we got talking about his daughters and how he was enrolling them in highschool and was looking at Loreto and i said "oh im a loreto girl!" and his comment was well thats my decision made loreto builds there girls strong looking at you.

low and behold 3years later and im back with DS2 and after the birth he says....see thats the loreto girl in you (i hadn't mentioned it he remembered) so i asked and he said that yes he had sent all three daughters to loreto! heehee

There is nothing better than a good OB and i went to 5different places with DS1 as i wanted so much to be comfortable with them...only got to my current ob when i was 30weeks along

[Trillian]

Mmmmm, too many old wives tales there for me sorry. My skin isn't that elastic at all - I get horrible stretchies, yet I have had one accidental pg, and 3 conceived first try. I have an average size shoe yet pushed out one large (going by his standards a baby under 9lb s large), 2 super size ones and one super-super size one. I know of a lot of islander women who have absolute whopper size babies. I reckon you could *work* on the theory of a shorter birth because second labours are often shorter anyway.

At the end of the day though, what is important is that you love him and you trust him.

[Jellyfish]

Ohhh. That is one thing I forgot -- I saw my obstetrician at 37+3 and my next appointment was in a weeks time. He said "Oh, I'm sure I'll be seeing you sooner than that" and I had the baby 4 days later!

[Glamourcide]

Lol awwww your Ob sounds like a really decent bloke If only all the medical people I came across were so lovely!

Well, I'm putting my current Ob (I'm going public so I see whoever is on, this guy is a different one to the one who I saw a couple of times during my first pregnancy) to the test: At my appt yesterday he checked everything out, gave me the all-clear and then as he was finishing his notes, he said, 'See you next week - if you make it that far. I have a feeling you'll be back before then!'

So, yeah. He said my blood pressure was slightly up from its normal levels (is that an indicator of impending labour?), but bub isn't engaged yet... maybe he just says it to everybody who has about a week to go lol, but I've got my fingers crossed that he's right! I'll let you all know when/if it happens

[NaeNae]

Aww Fiona he sounds sweet.

I have to admit I love my Ob too, I didn't think much of him at first meet last time but after what we have been through together I can honestly say I wouldn't see anyone else unless I absolutely had no choice.

I love his open and honest approach no matter how dyer (sp?) the situation is. I trust his judgement and when I do question something he always gives me honest reasons.