As an RN, I sometimes had to do some pretty mean things to patients in the course of their care - like, injections, wound dressings, manual evacuations ....

We were taught that if we take hold of a peron's wrist to take their pulse, without explaining what we're about to do or obtaining their consent, it is assault.

For procedures more painful and personal than that, it's even more important that there is respect, gentleness and patience, and that you don't push beyond the patient's consent, willingness or endurance.

It's good to hear about VEs done with this sort of professionalism. But I'm so sorry about the situations in which this has been lacking. Especially if they were completely avoidable in the first place.

It's procedure / I'll get into trouble with the Consultant if I don't / It's been a while since the last one / I have to write it in the notes that I've done it / I have to follow protocol so I don't get into trouble professionally etc - are not valid reasons to do a VE, especially if the mother is averse to it.

There are, of course, times and reasons when a VE is advisable. (Even then, if the woman says no, no means NO, and to push and push her to accept the VE is coercion and assault.) Time will tell.

I remember one (hospital) midwife who said, "You can tell how dilated she is soon enough - when you see head on view. Then you know how far she is dilated."