It's a Safe Place

[Julie Doula]

Hi all,

I read this quote in a magazine today. I found it quite touching so I thought I would share it.

"I was ready.

I welcomed each contraction.

While labour was painful and required more physical and mental strength than I imagined, I knew I had to go through it to get to the other side.

While my husband and doula were amazing and tireless with their support and encouragement, I reached a point when I realised I was totally alone.

No one could help me but me.

I needed to withdraw to a place so far inside myself it made my husband, doula, ostetrician, midwife and even the pool seem peripheral.

I was more alone than I'd ever been, but in that place I felt safe and strong.

This must be the place that Dad found (her father was terminally ill) - a place where you finally reached acceptance and the inevitability of what was ahead.

My sons' birth made me realise when the time came, my father would not be scared.

And when the time came, he was not scared, he was ready.

Childbirth taught me about the incredible link between life and death - the journey towards death is as natural and inevitable as that towards birth.

I walked away from his bedside and I knew this was the last time I would see him.

"Go now, Dad" I willed him silently.

I kissed my newborn son's head.

"It's a safe place."

Wishing all you beautiful Bellybelly mums a "safe and strong" birth

[August]

Wow Julie. I lost my brother to cancer this year when I was 10 weeks pregnant. With my upcoming induced labour I know that I will need to be as strong and centered as this mum was, and the memory of all that my little brother went through over the last 10 year gives me strength that I can bring this baby into the world, and cope with the outcome of his gastroschisis. I'm also naming my son Lucas after my brother. Thanks for sharing this with us.

August x

[Julie Doula]

The woman in the above story also named her son after her Dad.

[Inanna]

Oh Julie thank you for sharing that beautiful quote... As always when I read something like that I shed tears. The truth and knowing in that writing resonates for me too...

During my last labour - my gorgeous "sister" and homebirth midwife who has been with me thru all of my births wasn't able to make it. I was labouring well and happily but it was taking much longer than my previous 2 babies. I was in the tub, with my music, candles, children DH and SIL (who has also been at my other births to help with the children). I could tell I wasn't progressing as quickly as I wanted. I was getting "jack" of it all. It was all too manageable and lovely...

I asked my midwife to do an internal - I had never requested that before but I wanted to have a figure... She said I was 6-7 cms. I was absolutely devastated... I said "well that's it" I can't do this anymore... My DH and midwife chorused "yes you can". You've done this before. We'll do it together.

I continued to contract. Looking into the little faces of my other children. Feeling quite grumpy with my DH for thinking he knew I could do it... Then something happened. I looked at my smallest youngest child and thought. Wow, this is just me. Sylvana isn't coming I have to do this. I looked up at my SIL and said: I just have to do this on my own don't I? She nodded (as someone who has never had a child can only nod!!!)

With the next contraction I pushed and out came Eva. I said to my DH "she's out". He said "it won't be long Darling" Soon she'll be out".. I growled - no she's in here somewhere! With that the midwife sprang up and shined the torch onto the water as I plucked out gorgeous girl out gently.

The moral is - that decision with that birth was so conscious. I had to get to the place where I had the courage to birth. I found it and I did.

Each birth brings with it a new set of obstacles, issues, challenges. I believe that's part of the miraculous personal growth that occurs through birth and labour...

Thanks again Julie for sharing that beautiful story...

[Kirst11]

Thank you so much for sharing that Julie. It bought tears to my eyes too.

With the birth of my second shild no too far away, I have recently started to tell myself to put the negative thoughts behind me, as I KNOW that I can do this. I've done it before. This haws reassured me that the strength to bring my child into the world is within me, and only me.

Thanks for sharing.

[Claire]

That brought tears to my eyes.

It's so beautiful.

[Tracey]

I believe this is what happens to me in labour... I dont need, or wnat or sense anyone else, I become totally withdrawn & focused within, I love the empowerment I feel from birth.. Birth does not frighten me, I welcome it & love it washing over my body bringing my baby closer to me!!!

I cannot wait (hear that Zyon!)

[StrawberryMumma]

Thanks Julie. Amazing quote! Just beautiful.

Thanks for sharing your experience Flowerchild. So honest and so real.

[Julie Doula]

The moral is - that decision with that birth was so conscious. I had to get to the place where I had the courage to birth. I found it and I did.

This gives me (happy) chills. So true, Flowerchild!

It continues to amaze me how much truth, wisdom, strength and courage women draw from one another as we share our own stories of birth.***

I think that is something we lost when village life changed to urban life and (some of us) lost our 'tribe'.

But it is something we find among ourselves again in places like Bellybelly.

*** (INCLUDING ceasarian and medically assisted birth )

[Inanna]

I agree with you Julie. We have lost our village. Our woman circle. Well, as a society we have. Birth and pregnancy was put in a cupboard. I remember as a child being told not to say pregnant - it's rude by my grandmother. It wasn't discussed. It was too close to a sexual act I think.

Slowly it's coming out more though sometimes I lament at the comments I hear out there. Belly Belly is a wonderful place for that safety of sharing. We all come here with our little bags of life lessons. In sharing them and talking of them our births, pregnancies and families can be made richer and more educated (I believe).

I had a blessingway for a friend a few months back. I asked for a list of who she would like there. Everyone was so into the night. So into the ritual and celebration. But one of her friends refused to come. She said birth is a private matter and not one to be talked about or celebrated like a pagan ritual. Wow! I was shocked.

I believe as women and men we need to embrace our bodies more, embrace the amazing things they can do, support others to do what it it they can do, share our stories and our wisdom. Embrace some ritual and tradition...

You have started a beautiful thread Julie thankyou...