Oh Julie thank you for sharing that beautiful quote... As always when I read something like that I shed tears. The truth and knowing in that writing resonates for me too...

During my last labour - my gorgeous "sister" and homebirth midwife who has been with me thru all of my births wasn't able to make it. I was labouring well and happily but it was taking much longer than my previous 2 babies. I was in the tub, with my music, candles, children DH and SIL (who has also been at my other births to help with the children). I could tell I wasn't progressing as quickly as I wanted. I was getting "jack" of it all. It was all too manageable and lovely...

I asked my midwife to do an internal - I had never requested that before but I wanted to have a figure... She said I was 6-7 cms. I was absolutely devastated... I said "well that's it" I can't do this anymore... My DH and midwife chorused "yes you can". You've done this before. We'll do it together.

I continued to contract. Looking into the little faces of my other children. Feeling quite grumpy with my DH for thinking he knew I could do it... Then something happened. I looked at my smallest youngest child and thought. Wow, this is just me. Sylvana isn't coming I have to do this. I looked up at my SIL and said: I just have to do this on my own don't I? She nodded (as someone who has never had a child can only nod!!!)

With the next contraction I pushed and out came Eva. I said to my DH "she's out". He said "it won't be long Darling" Soon she'll be out".. I growled - no she's in here somewhere! With that the midwife sprang up and shined the torch onto the water as I plucked out gorgeous girl out gently.

The moral is - that decision with that birth was so conscious. I had to get to the place where I had the courage to birth. I found it and I did.

Each birth brings with it a new set of obstacles, issues, challenges. I believe that's part of the miraculous personal growth that occurs through birth and labour...

Thanks again Julie for sharing that beautiful story...