thread: Just out of interest...

  1. #19
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber
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    Jan 2006
    Port Macquarie, NSW
    1,443

    I was introduced to this forum through another homebirther, and by the time I joined, had already had my first homebirth.

    I would like to add, though, that compared to the many other homebirth forums that exist, I think BellyBelly is unique in making homebirth a mainstream option. As someone else said, "I am not a raving hippie" - and you don't have to be, to be a part of BellyBelly. BB attracts women from every walk of life, and where some pro-homebirth forums only appeal to homebirth activists (whose antics run the risk, at the end of the day, of actually detracting from homebirth as a valid option with the majority of the population) this forum appeals to everyone. Women here are defined by their interests, and their beliefs, and may have had homebirths - they are not necessarily defined by their homebirth. Once other people see this, they stop seeing homebirth as something other people do, and start seeing it as something they can do.

  2. #20
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    *nods head in full agreement with Lucy* yep, I hear you on the babymoon stuff.

  3. #21
    ♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
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    Feb 2003
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia
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    SamiH, have you read this article? Siblings At Birth. It certainly provides a very interesting prespective!
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    In 2015 I went Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team

  4. #22
    Registered User

    Mar 2005
    Melbourne
    656

    For me, no, I would never have a home birth. The reason for this is that I am very confident in my ability to birth naturally, without unnecessary intervention, even though I am in hospital. However, I need to know that the medical back-up is readily available for me should something go wrong. I would never forgive myself if I were at home and the baby required any type of medical intervention which was not immediately available (either during or after the birth). My personal opinion is that home births may place mother and child at unnecessary risk that I would not be willing to take. Having said that, I have enjoyed learning more about HB's on BB and think it is an option which should be available for those who wish to use it.

  5. #23
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    In a land of bubbles and trouble
    1,479

    Thanks Kelly, I think if it was guaranteed HB could be ideal like that we would all do it without hesitation. Especially if siblings bedtimes co-incided with the active first stage!

    I have no family around us so no distractions for the kids other than us at home. My 3yo DD cries when I stub my toe. Having said that, we talk about how the baby is going to come out of my body, kids have seen pictures in books etc and we have shown the footage of both of their births to them. My DS walked past the tv on his way to bed when the 60 minutes show was on and then said the next day why are you going to hospital and not having the baby in the lounge room LOL!! So whilst they may cope, I think I would be too worried about how they were coping and not concentrating on me enough - and I don't want my labour to take longer!!

  6. #24
    ♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
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    Feb 2003
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia
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    The transfer rate to hospital is quite low, lower in subsequent babies than first and often the decision is made because things aren't progressing etc... so it's not traumatic iykwim? Even if something happens, most if not all homebirth women have someone designated to watching their children - so the children have a support person. They know when to have the kids there or not etc. Just trying to dispel the myths/fears etc Much less intervention therefore trauma happens at home, I think hospital birth is far scarier for children, whereas home birth can provide them with an amazing gift (if thats the decision of the couple, not saying hospital birthing couples are depriving children, ykwim!).
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    In 2015 I went Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team

  7. #25
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    I wanted a homebirth for DS; I guess BB drew me away from the birth centre. I never wanted a hospital birth. (I didn't get a hospital birth; I didn't get to give birth. I went in pregnant, I feel like I lost my baby and an hour later I was handed my husband's baby.) But my family have positive experiences of birth centres and home births. For my grandmothers it was normal to either homebirth or be in hospital for 10 days... I'd rather homebirth, I hate hospitals! Birth is normal and hospitals aren't.

    That said, BB has given me the encouragement to just do what I want next time and sod the "professionals" and my useless DH. I won't be getting a birth attendant because TBH I don't even want my DH there so why let a virtual stranger be there instead? I won't need to fight next time because if someone suggests something I don't like they are leaving my home. I'm also not telling anyone I'm in labour until I start pushing, by which point it will be too late.

    I guess you've encouraged me to have a freebirth, but I wanted that for DS before even reading up on birthy things that much here.

  8. #26
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    Home of the Winery Walkabout!
    944

    For myself, I would of loved to have had an opportunity to have a home birth, in fact I threatened my care providers a number of times that unless they pulled their fingers out I would refuse to come into the hospital at all and I would have my baby at home where I would feel comfortable. Unfotunately, with my medical condition, everyone pushed me to avoid a homebirth because of the complications that could occur.
    As for siblings at the birth, Bella was there right beside me as I gave birth to Pat and she absolutely adores him.

    As a doula, my first birth was an unplanned homebirth. I was 10 minutes out when bub was born and he was born on the front verandah of his parents house in front of his big sister. She was freaked out about it at the time but by the time we went to the hospital, she had calmed down quite a bit.

  9. #27
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    On the edge of Crazytown
    1,178

    I think that BB ond BoBB doco have certainly given me the desire for a homebirth, but I dont have the confidence to support that desire and take the plunge.

    I had major blood loss during both my two births and am frightened the same will happen again.

    But then again, my second labour lasted a total of 45minutes and I now live further away from the hospital than I did then.... so perhaps an unplanned homebirth may result...

  10. #28
    ♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
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    Feb 2003
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia
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    Oh gosh, that's not good! Were you induced or did you have normal births?
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    In 2015 I went Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team

  11. #29
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Brisbane
    1,621

    Even before I discovered BB I was both educated about my birthing choices AND adamant that I had a drug-free, intervention-free birth. I went with an Ob cos it seemed like the thing to do. Anyhoo, I got my drug-free, intervention-free birth () in a private hospital . A great experience, all said and done. Given I birthed my son easily and relatively quickly (5hrs), I am definitely considering a HB. BB is a wonderful forum to share and receive information and I think BB has given me the spur to find out more about having a HB (when the time comes).

    I believe that birthing is a natural experience for a woman (... well, usually!) and BB is helping women to see that birthing isn't something to be feared or avoided, but to be embraced and (dare I say ....) enjoyed.

    Cheers, Andie

  12. #30
    Registered User

    Sep 2004
    Sydney's Norwest
    4,954

    On the topic of siblings at birth, and I know this is for another thread. Both Noah and Tehya were at home when Abbey was born. Tehya walked out as she was crowing and watched her baby sister being born. She sat there wide eyed and took everything in. She wasn't a bit concerned. She was 4 months off 3. Noah (who was 5) woke just after Abbey was born and he took was non fussed. What a way to wake up, with your new baby in the house for you to cuddle up too.

    Oh, nope, I'm not a hippy either. I swear. I shave my armpits

  13. #31
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    On the edge of Crazytown
    1,178

    Both came on their own.

    DD1 on her due date, i was scheduled for induction for pre-eclampsia, but she beat them to it. Still had every kind of intervention they could shove up my nose... monitoring, episiotomy, epidural, constant blood pressure cuff, and syntocin to get the placenta moving.

    DD2 three weeks early and in a big hurry. No drugs, no intervention, no stitches, no DH ( he didnt make it in time), and almost no doc ( he came running in on the last push) Definately hoping to do it this way again. But with DH there.

  14. #32
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains
    5,086

    hmm... I won't have a HB. BB has definitely changed my perspective of HB, but I still lean towards being in hospital. i would use a birth centre if there was one close by (haven't really looked around.. but pretty sure it was shut down years ago).

    But I definitely credit BB with helping me to be informed of what goes on in hospital, and to know what I want and how to fight 'the system' where necessary. I didn't have what is considered a 'natural' birth but it was pain-relief free, and I understood the interventions that were used much more than I ever would have without BB (synto for #1 ARM for #2)

    From what I understand, the public hospital here is implementing a midwife program so you see the same midwife throughout.. so i may consider going public next time (if there's a next time!.. still working on that with DH LOL).. except I HATE public hospital food! LMAO. The private hospital felt so much less like a hospital.. I didn't enjoy being in the public hospital after the birth at all. The care was great.. just not the hospital itself iykwim. Was so glad to transfer to private once Kayla was in Level 2 care LOL.

  15. #33
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Paradise
    4,473

    If we could afford a private MW I would definitely consider it. Both of the girls were born in the birth centre, and I loved it! I wont have ARM again. The birth centre is set up so that the MWs talk to you on the phone before they meet you at the hospital (they come from home to wherever they are needed.) and if things soudn like they are progressing too fast they will come to your home and HB if you cant get to the hospital. They have even driven some women to hospital when their DH's were at work and things were going fast enough to not have time for him to go home but slow enough to get to hospital.

    If we cant afford a private MW next time I think we will go BC again, but wait till it is too late to get to the hospital before calling them so we can have the HB without having to hire a Private MW.

  16. #34
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    If I was going for another (which I am NOT!), I would have a HB for sure......if I could get rid of the dog. And also get a last minute cleaner to come in and do something with my messy house so it wouldn't distract me!

    If I had one last time, the kids would have woken up to find mummy and the new baby cuddled up together peacefully ahhhhhh.

  17. #35
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Melbourne
    3,715

    I would not have a HB.............BUT! BB had definitely changed my views on birth, and taught me so much. I really credit the information I found on here to helping me enjoy my birth as much as I did. I honestly believe that without BB my birth wouldn't have gone nearly so well as it did.

    My reasons for not having a HB -
    I actually don't mind hospitals at all, providing it's a 'nice' one
    I like to feel that it's an 'event', that I'm going somewhere to give birth
    I like to know that there is someone to help me with every single feed, if I need it
    I like to know that food will be brought to me frequently, without having to ask!
    I like that someone else will change my sheets, and clean the bathroom etc
    I like that there's someone else monitoring visiting hours

    My DH and I had a truly wonderful time in hospital after having our DS. We can't wait to do it again! I'm not against HB at all now (thanks to BB!), I just don't feel that it's for me.
    Last edited by Janie; August 17th, 2008 at 10:46 AM.

  18. #36
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    I have just read many replies that say what I feel also. I woul dlove to stay home & give birth.
    DH isn't so keen. He isn't against it, just doesn't see the point.

    I am confident in my hospital. I know the midwifes well (4th pregnancy at the same hositpal, along with ABA stuff I have "been around" lol).
    Most importantly I am confident in my body to birth with out the need of intervention. So I don't see that the hospital will take anything away from my birth

    Also what Lucy said
    BUT, for me personally, I would still chose not to have a homebirth. I love the being away from home to give birth. I love my babymoon away from home. I love not having to even think about laundry/the kitchen floor/the next meal whilst in hospital. (I fear if I was at home I would be fretting too much over it.......)
    I canr elate to this also. With 3 other kids at home, I think I need that time on my own. If I am home I know I will be jumped on, asked to get this that & the other thing etc etc etc. Even a just 1 night in hospital will give me time to bond with our new member of the family.

    BUT reason I want to have a homebirth are..
    I don't want to labour at the hospital & I worry I will be cought out onthe way there as I am not that close anymore. While the idea of a "car birth" on the side of the mountian will make a great birth story, not sure I want it to be mine. So I worry I will need to leave before I am ready too or that I will be leaving it too short KWIM.
    Also, When Glenn was born, Evan stopped eating. When Isla was born Glenn stopped eating.
    I belive this had to do with me being away, not the new baby. The time I was away from home was traumatic for them. Isla is a good eater, also a mummys girl. Sure she will survive the time I am away but I know fromt eh boys I will be left with a changed little girl. So I feel staying home may help prevent that from happening this time.
    I would like for the older one to be present at the birth. I think they could handle it. Well maybe not Isla but the boys for sure. DH again isn't keen on this. But at home he may not have a choice.

    I don;t want to labour at hospital but I don't want a rush hour dash down the mountain to give birth either.
    So I am sorto f leaning to wards the be prepared to stay put. I plan to labour at home as long as I can. Once I feel the need to leave I wil decide to either leave or stay LOL.

    I don't think BB has changed my idea's on a homebirth. But possibly has given me more insight to what I am capable of.

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