Yeah, I think the "yay I didn't tear" thing is more about relief that it dodn't happen (and they're ont having to deal with recovery) than anything else. I had an episiotomy and that really sucked. I didn't care at the time (honestly) but it sure had an impact on me afterwards. I hope I'll be able to say "I didn't tear" next time and it'll be all about me and my non-stichted perenium and nothing more than that.
Satistically, there are things shown to reduce the likelihood, but as with all things there's a good dose of luck in there also.
I've been wondering this myself! With DD, the midwife told me to lie on the bed to start pushing. I argued that standing would be better to prevent tearing and she assured me that I wouldn't tear on the bed.
She told me to push hard, then soft, then hard, etc, and voila I didn't tear.
My labour was about 10 hrs (from 3cm - 10cm) and I spent most of it lying down. Also, I had no pain relief.. no perineum preparation either.
I definitely think that a fast labour is likely to result in tearing, as well as bad coaching, baby's head size, and possibly epidural might increase the chances..
DD had a small head! (Just as well coz I am a tiny person!)
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