Michelle I think it’s a good idea to have your daughter there at the hospital to be involved. Having some other special people around too would be handy so your husband has back up, but I suppose c/sections don’t take too long, and if planned will happen at a civilized time unlike many other births. It’s lovely that you’re thinking about how involving her will affect her understanding.

Rachel & Shannon, I’m all for having kids that age at the birth, if it feels right for you.

Lola was 4 at Ruth’s birth. We had read age appropriate books together, she’d been with me for midwife appointments, and we’d talked about what it would be like. She had my Mum and a friend looking after her, and they’d taken her out for a walk about an hour before the birth as it was getting a bit boring for everyone, and probably for them all to have a break from my howling. Being at home made it very easy, and it was in the daytime. My dog and cat were with me too, & husband & 2 midwives. Lola arrived back from her walk moments after Ruth was born, so missed the moment, but still lots of blood & guts with her present. She was very relaxed about it and I was very glad she was involved. She doesn’t remember it now, but we have the photos.

When Angus was born Lola, aged 11 this time, was with us too, this time in hospital and the middle of the night. DH had a list of 5 people to call, the plan being to get both kids home, have someone look after them at home, then bring them to the hospital close to the birth time (had read books with them & talked about it again) and look after them there so they could be with me but not hanging around for 12 hours. DH called no-one! We were on our own, Ruth missed the whole thing (visiting with her father), and Lola was an angel, fetching water and wash cloths & holding the camera. There was no-one else with her, but we told her to sleep on the couch as much as she could, and to leave the room whenever she needed to & decide how she felt when the time came. She wouldn’t have missed it & I’m glad she was there. Ruth was fetched from school a couple of hours after the birth.

You definitely need someone to look after them other than your partner/immediate birth helper (although Lola was fine on her own), and lots of preparation, and arrangements in case of very long labours to get them home/bring them from home. Remember, they can always leave the room if it seems the right thing to do or they just want to. The age of the child would have a lot to do with it too. Birralee is fine with kids present as long as they have a separate carer.

Some people are just not comfortable with it, but I think it’s wonderful to treat the event as one that’s normal and healthy where everyone is there to support mum. When Lola was born I had 2 midwives, hubby, cat, dog, birth helper, mum, & dad & brother showed up too & hung around the edges.

Cailin, this book sounds great. What age of child is it written for & could you tell us the title/author?