more advice/quiestion for friend

[~clover~]

Ok, a friend of mine suffered a 3rd degree tear with her boy about 18 months ago.

She's now about 6 weeks off having her next baby.

After her DS's birth she was told she'd need a c/s for any future children.
So she went in about 2 weeks ago to talk about the date for her c/s, thinking she had no choice & the mw told her if she wanted to she could birth naturally.

Yesterday she went to see her ob/gyn to talk about this & was 99% comfortable with a vaginal birth, even though the fear of another bad tear was still there.

We've talked about it heaps & I've passed on heaps of stuff for her to read & she felt that she'd made the right decision for her.

Then the ob says she has to have a c/s. With the scar tissue she has, she could somehow end up with a hysterectomy if she was to birth vaginally.

Sounds to me this ob is quite obviously bullying her into a c/s, but I know nothing about this.

My friend has now agreed to the c/s, which of course is her choice, but I want her to be sure. Noone wants to ruin their future chances of babies, but is this even right?

[Fleur]

I don't know but it sure sounds wrong to me. I'd be getting another opinion for sure.

[Lulu]

Is there time for a second opinion at the scarring? I don't think anyone can say if it's right or wrong without seeing/understanding the extent of the previous damage. Can you speak to her midwife again...maybe let her know what the Ob said.?

Throwing the H word around is a terrible thing to do and I hope it isn't a matter of using that to bully her into the c/sect.

[Persephone1]

I agree she should get a second opinion. I've been told that my 3rd degree tearing has healed well and I should try for a VB again. For me, a c-section would cause more damage than the chance of further tearing. Your friend might have other factors at play as to why a c-section is a better option for her - but a second opinion would at least help her decide.

[Kazbah]

I'm very confused - why would 3rd degree scarring (guessing tear) cause a c/s?

[Persephone1]

I'm very confused - why would 3rd degree scarring (guessing tear) cause a c/s?

One gynae told me that my tearing in my first birth increases my chance of tearing again and increases my risk of incontinence and prolapsed bowel. I've since been told that my risk of tearing has only increased by 1-2%. And I've healed well, no incontinence or issues. One of my belly buddies had tearing caused by forceps and will have a c-section next time because of the issues she's suffered since, which are pretty horrific.

[Visitor7]

My friend had a 3rd tear with her first. She's now 6 months pregnant with her 2nd and she's been told she'll need a c/s as the chance of tearing again, and the possibility of a hysterectomy were too high. I'm not sure what sort of information led them to that though.
Good luck to your friend.

[Mum2SweetCs]

subbing.
I didnt realise having a tear could mean no more VB. I had a 4th degree one and am not even considering how it could affect my next labour.

[MummaSue]

Could she speak to another Ob? Get a second opinion? Even if that is true (which I doubt) it would reassure her enough maybe to hear it from someone else?

[~clover~]

I will let her know, thanks guys.

[Lulu]

I really don't understand how the H-word comes into it (not a gyno though!), if there was chance of more damage to the bowel/bladder being high I would understand that. I think she needs to ask HOW it could lead to Hysterectomy.

[~clover~]

Thats what I was wondering. I asked & thats when she said something about scar tissue. My reply was 'but the scar tissue isn't in your uterus?'
Unless its to do with damage somehow done to the birth canal?
Will have to ask her next time she's online. I wished i lived closer when she had her DS, I'm wishing I was there even more now.

[Trillian]

But the Birth canal still isn't related to a hysterectomy. It really sounds like your friend is being given a massive bum steer by the Ob and she is going to become a product of the system All that talk about not having a VB again because she'd previously tore is just a lie and in reality it is criminal what he is doing because she is not giving informed consent when she is being treated like a mushroom by him. Fair enough, there are some instances when the tearing is bad enough that it may prevent future VB's but this is rare and there are usually other associated problems with it. I had an epi with my first birth and went on to vaginally birth 3 more babies - and there would be 1000's and 1000's of women who have done that too. I know that you said your friend has made her decision, but I just can't help but feel that she will regret making that decision once it's done.

[~clover~]

I feel the same way Trill. Is this thread public? I might link it to her.

[bonita]

i dunno much about givin birth and that kinda stuff but wen i went to the gynocoligist they said i do have a choice in the matter and they said that there is a very high risk that i could tear again and could lead to me havin a hysterectomy and not havin anymore kids.. so when he told me that i said well ill have a ceasar cos i wanna have more kids in the future.. i went for my antenantal check up a few weeks back and i told them what dubbo hospital said after i had my first 18 months ago and the midwives said that they were lying and i could have a natural birth but they made me an appointment with the gyno jus incase they were wrong.. but i will go and make another appointment with another doctor just to make sure

[~clover~]

Hey baby girl.
You just remember its your choice ok. I know you were worried about the tearing, but like I said to you before, I don't want you regretting it later.
It would be good to ask someone else, or even just ask the gyn you spoke to the other day to explain it to you in more detail.
Love ya xx

[bonita]

hey

yea i will ill see if i can speak to the gynocoligist again

[Honeybee]

What? Never heard of this. I'm no expert, but I had and epi and 3rd degree tear with DS, I am pg again and at my first Ob appt he said 'so I assume you're planning another VB?' and didn't raise any kind of questions at all, and Vaginal Delivery is circled on my card.