Sometimes they are helpful...
Mostly an intune care provider can tell with a fair amount of accuracy how far advanced a womans' labour is by: the sounds she is making - when a woman is making high pitched screaming yelling sounds - often that is fear based and often labour is not as far along as perhaps the Mama would expect. Deep low gutteral sounds show me a woman is progressing well and close to dilatation... Grunts show that a woman's urge to push has begun. Usually that is a sign that dilatation has been reached or is nearing...
A woman often gets really restless just prior to second stage. Ofte it's now that a woman says: "I want my undies back I'm going home"... (me! ), or says I can't do this. I want it to stop et etc...

Sometimes a woman has what is called an anterior lip - this happens sometimes with posterior babies a little more frequently than anterior babies.. It happens when woman gets pushy without her body wanting to... A VE can tell us if that is so.

Also if a woman is having a protracted labour it can perhaps help to know how far along she is..
Having said that - Women have perfectly designed bodies & a cervix can go from 2 cm to 9cm in a very short amount of time. I find that helping a woman with her head most often sorts out her body...

Mostly VE;s are not needed - when you have a primary care giver. A midwife that you know and trust & you have developed a relationship with. OR a Doula who you know & trust.
Those that are wise to birth matters listen with their ears & heart , feel with their hands & get a feel for what is happening. This is why the medicalisation of birth has made it so tough. It has taken the intuit out of birth & the primal call of birth for women.

Your job as a Mama preparing for her birth is to seek out good support - so you have a wise woman to listen for you and guide you.

You need to really tune into your body now. Learn to say NO! I am glad you felt you could do that when it didn't feel right for you.

I would care about being stark naked in a room full of people I didn't know. However, I haven't had that so I was fine to be. I think you go with thr flow. If in labour you are asked for a VE - ask why? Why do I need this? If the MW says I am thinking you have an AL - then you can decide if you are ok for her to coax your cervix back during a Cx.

Mostly though I think that your vagina is your sacred space - keep others fingers out during labour unless it is necessary!