Ok... I have been happily living in a world of denial and for many reasons have been doing so, but I think I need to pull my head out of the sand and face facts.

Fact 1 - My EDD is 24 December
Fact 2 - That means as of today I am officially 36 weeks.
Fact 3 - I have a section booked for 24 Dec, but a second possible date for 18 Dec.
Fact 4 - I have one more week of work left and a lot to get finished, so really need to still be there for that.
Fact 5 - I cant go over my EDD, and cant have an induction due to previous section, so that is why I have the section booked in JIC...

So, in 7 days from now I am officially on Maternity leave and will have two weeks to try and encourage this baby out into the world, or at least get things started so I can push the possible section date back to 24th... I really reallly reallllllllly want a vbac, and will do anything I can to have it, but am time limited, so need to find a way not to circum to the pressure... which is part of the reason I have had my head in the sand.

But reading Ina May, I know how important it is to be in the right headspace, and admitting up to this is what I think I need right now...

Last weekend DH and I finally got almost everything ready for our new little guy, I only need to get the car seat done, and am not concerned about that, as it can be done while I am in hospital, and pack my bag, which I am doing tomorrow, so I feel organised and as ready as I can be...

I am so hoping we can have a VBAC, but OK with the booked date of the 24th for the section, and pleased my Ob is still good with that, however,I am getting very uncomfortable and may just fall into the section on the 18th... think I will need some willpower to resist the temptation of it. And a good argugment for my OB.

I was going to wait till I finished work to face up to this, but something in me tells me I needed to get this out now, in order for me to get through these last few weeks... Thanks for listening. xo