We had this issue when I was having DD - in the end I went to the birth center by myself and DH stayed home to look after DS.

This time round we are home birthing to avoid the whole childcare thing. Unfortunately we have no back up plan - if I have to transfer anywhere then DH will miss the birth again.

It is really hard when you don't have family around and the children aren't used to being with anyone else. I hope you can come up with something that works.