So sorry your scared I am 7 weeks and just weaned off my anxiety meds so I understand how bad your feelings are mayby talk to a psychiatrist and psychologist and make sure you get a nice on who will talk you through all your options I also think the doula is a great idea

I have my labour war story but u know what yes it did hurt but it was great I loved that it brought my baby boy into the world your body is made for it the pushing for me didn't actually hurt it felt like relief my labour only went for 3 hours and only 3 pushes(5mins) so first labours aren't all bad it really was quite manageable and I don't have a high pain threshold also dh was great support even if the worst case happens there are trained professionals that know just what to do in those situations and in the end all you want to do is meet your gorgeous bubba try to not think about it too much and enjoy each stage of pregnancy especially when you feel that first kick