I found perineal massage difficult over the (giant) bump but i did it once or twice.

I used sweet almond oil, rubbed on the area, then slid a thumb in with the nail up and pushed down on my perineum from inside. After a few goes i used both thumbs (hard to breathe - take a lot of breaks ) and basically stretched out the area a little by pushing down and then sliding my thumbs apart. You do notice (or i did) how much better and easier it stretches if you maintain and slowly slowly increase pressure, rather than just jerking a lot of pressure on, so that's handy for keeping you focused on crowning slowly if possible.

I also want to tell you though, i was REALLY worried about tearing, it was a big thing in my head. I did tear a little (didn't need stitches) and honestly, i didn't feel it at the time and it gave me NO problems afterwards. I can find the spot with my fingers but i don't have a big scar or anything and i was DTD 8weeks PP with no pain or problems. I talked to so many women who were the same, the only ones who found it to be as awful as they expected tore really badly (bad 2nd or 3rd degree which is very rare with a normal deliver (those i know that had this level of tearing had instrumentally assisted births)). Without exception those who either had a little tear with no stitches or a little tear with a few stitches were actually laughing about how worried they were afterwards. You might tear your whohaa a little bit, but you won't even know about it until you're already holding your baby, and NOTHING seems interesting compared to that beautiful little person. So try not to worry too much.

Bx