Wow! I've been wondering the same - your story sounds so like mine! Had a long long (42hr) labour with DD1. She was posterior and ended up with forceps delivery. I just kept thinking "I'm not ready for this". I was doing really really well for the first half of my pregnancy, then had mum come stay with us at 22wks and it all went downhill from there. She lives overseas and seeing her (after 5yrs) brought back a lot of deep-seated and very painful memories for me. I got PND at around 8months and nearly had a mental breakdown just before DD's first birthday. I just couldn't shake off the past. It was as if I was feeling the pain all over again and my muscles/body was literally shutting down. I strongly believe it had a lot to do with my experience of labour.
This time around, I am finding it really difficult to bond with bub. Read "Ina May's - guide to childbirth". It has some excellent points on dealing with emotional blocks to labouring. I found meditation also helped me heaps. I lost track with my first pregnancy after mum's arrival (and getting whooping cough, losing my dog at the same time). this time I am trying to find meditation methods (in particular visualising how I want my labour to go and telling my body to do what I know it can). It also helps to stay away from trigger factors (for me, my mum ..long story). Spoke to her last night to tell her about my pregnancy and had another relapse!
Dealing with deep-seated emotions is never easy - especially difficult while pregnant. But I believe it does more harm not to deal with stuff. Pregnancy brings out all suppressed memories. I learnt the hard way. Stay strong and try to get as much support as you can (especially from your partner) from family, friends, professional support if you need it.
Sorry for rambling on ( and possibly deviating away from the topic!), but Yes.. to answer your question - I do think psychological factors have a role to play in labour.
littlelara - yes I wonder if even though I wasn't fully conscious of it at the time these issues did provide a block and prevented or delayed me going into to labour. You are right, the only way out is to go through it and I guess that's way we avoid things for so long, because going under, over or around is much easier than going through! I'm really glad to hear that you have worked through some stuff and feel that you are a better mum because of it.
Traveller - thank you for the information, I had often wondered what happend to women intimes of crises etc. And you are right about all women going in to labour, I guess what I mean is that a lot of women don't go into labour naturally within our idea of a 'normal time frame'.
belle75 - it was amazing to read your post and see the similarities! I have actually just started reading Ina May's book! From what I have read so far it is very inspiring and reassuring and I'm sure I will read some of those beautiful birth stories over and over to help me stay focused and positive and believe that I can do it. I really hope that you can stay strong and focused and have a much better birth outcome this time as well, from your attitude I can see that you are already half way there so I'm sure things will work out for you, but I wish you the best of luck hun!
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