Scared..

[nickers]

All of a sudden i have become very scared about how much pain i am going to be in when in labour...
How can i get myself past the fear and thinking more possitivley?
I was watching some births recently and just realised that is going to be me soon and how can i cope?
Ive booked into anti natal classes, they don't start until end of march.

[Antheia]

Well i dont know if this is going to get rid of your fear, but you will cope. I mean, for me, i am a wuss, i hate pain, i fear pain. But when i was in labor, i just knew i was going to be ok, i felt stronger and the pain wasnt as bad as i had expected. Now, i'm not saying labor doesnt hurt, it does. But soon as i was there, the fear went away. I just focused on gettting my baby out. I knew the pain would be over sooner or later and i'd be getting the best present at the end for all that hard work. I hope this has helped you a little, and if not, just know that you'll be fine.

[mizzsocial]

Nickers, I was exactly the same way when i was having my 1st.. But by the time i was about 38 weeks, with swallon feet, aching back etc, i couldnt wait to go into labor!! I was soooo happy when my waters finally broke!!

Yes Labor hurts, but its so amazing how, as soon as the baby comes out, you just go straight back to normal.. Its such an amazing experience..

Its good you are going to the classes, that will really help..

[Phteven]

nickers, you might find this article Pain in Labour: Your Hormones Are Your Helpers interesting. There are a couple of other Belly Belly Birth Articles that you might also be interested in that talk about coping with labour. I think that being informed plays a big role in helping to cope with labour and also having good support. If you know what is going on and have people around you who are reassuring you that the pain is positive and bringing you closer to meeting your baby etc. then you will probably cope alot better.

[BellyBelly]

nickers, what state are you in? Unfortunately I find hospital ante-natal classes pretty usless for those wanting to work with pain. They tell you about birth and pain relief options but no strategies for coping with pain.

Have you thought about a birth support person? Or if you are in Melbourne, check out Rhea Dempsey's (Birth Educator, Birth Attendant of over 26 years) workshop which is for working with pain - I recommend it to every woman and the workshop is stacks better than the ante-natal classes you'll get.

[nickers]

Hi Kelly,

I am in Melbourne,
can you please give me some info or details on that workshop you mentioned?
I have to check with dr how many are allowed in the room but so far i was planning for my DH to be there and my mum . (who hopefully makes it as she will be coming from interstate)

[BellyBelly]

Nickers -

Re support people - they will let you have as many as you want usually, it's just theatre they only let one in. You can get a student attendant for free if money is an issue, but if you attend Rhea's course, you will see what a difference it makes - I went to one last month and two ended up asking me to attend their births - they completely changed their mind about what they really needed. Two of them even had births with an induction drip and no pain relief - now that's huge!!!

Re class details - I'll post it in here as I think it's a useful course for all, she is my teacher and promotes BB for me. Please don't be put off by the price - midwives go to her classes and she's very well known for them. There are concession rates if you genuinely feel you need them and you can pay in parts if need be.

Private health can cover these workshops too if you ask for a receipt and have appropriate levels of cover. I have also attended her workshops many times as her student and you should see the huge transformation people go through - they all start off nervous and unsure but afterwards say how much it's given them something to think about and they all change the plans they originally had. It helps dad feel involved, she gives dad HEAPS of ideas and the dads all leave really confident. One German dad (who had been a dad twice before!) said to me after the last workshop, 'I expected this to be all airy fairy but it's brilliant.':

Rhea Dempsey - http://www.birthingwisdom.com.au

Transforming Pain in Labour

Discover what to expect and how to deal with it through dynamic labour rehearsal, breathing, movement, sound release and support strategies. Explore psychological and relationship dynamics which affect birthing potential. Identify, reframe and transform your relationship with pain. Learn how to work with pain to connect with your instinctive birthing self.

Weekend workshops for pregnant women, their partners and support people.

Cost: $400 per couple $30 per additional support person. Visit the calendar for upcoming dates.

Let me know if you go, and if you do go, don't forget to tell her Kelly Zantey recommended you go You will love Rhea, she's open, honest and right out there. She'll tell you exactly how it is, what you have to deal with, and how real it is that you can do it with the right knowledge and support. Words can't justify how great this course is. I love hearing people's before and after stories when they go to this course - like I mentioned, it puts ante-natal classes to shame!

I think Rhea is on holidays til next Monday but she always has an answering service on if she is unavailable.

[Pietta]

Nickers I was so very scared too when i was 30+ weeks preg.

Every preg and birth is different. Some people have easy ones others harder ones. Unfortunately we cant predict these- bummer- but if you can trust in all the people around you to help you out you will be amazed what a beautiful experience it really is

[Tracey]

I also started fearing it around 30wks, with DD#1, so one day my Mum whom knew I was starting to panic, took me to the shopping centre & made me sit there & look at all the people going past, almost every second person was preg, or pushing a pram & most had more than 1 child with them!
She said to me "If you think it is gonna be so freaking painful & such a bad experience, have a look around you......... All these people came out the same way (as in have been born!), most people are going back for seconds & thirds. Do you really think it is as bad as your mentally imagining it!?"
I realised then that it couldnt be as bad as I had built it up to be in my head.
When I had DD#1, the first thing I said was "I love it, I could do that again!" :shock:
Mind you my waters broke on Tuesday & she was born on thursday afternnon, after being hooked up to Syntocin drip etc, I still would say the pain in my imagination was a 10, actual birth was about a 4 compared! I did have pethadine, but I was exhausted!

#2, I had no drugs!!!

#3....... :-k Trying to convince DH!!!!

You'll be fine!!!

[nickers]

Thanks everyone for you support. I know the result at the end of the pain will be worth it all.
My emotions have been running wild for the last 4 months one min im fine the next the slightest thing upsets me but at the time seems so huge.

so true about looking how many other woman out there are pregnant and have had many children, so yes its going ot hurt but can't be that bad if everyone goes back for more!
Thanks again

[mac29]

Hi nickers,
Im the same as you im petrified of the pain just the thought of it makes me cringe of course with this being my first baby i dont know what im in for as of yet but i have a strategy that probably sounds rediculous but hey if it works for me then its great lol.
I am telling myself its gunna be really really bad and kinda deliberately scaring myself a little but if i can go through it and come out saying hey it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be then i know i will be keen to do it all over again. i know sounds stupid but my mum and my sisters keep tellining me its not as bad as i think but i dont really wanna hear that because id rather be prepared for the worst and then go `oh was that it that was easy` then freak out at a crucial moment because its worse then i expected IYKWIM Kinda like using reverse psychology on yourself. well thats my plan anyways probably the totally wrong way to go about it but i will see how we go.

Have a great day
Mel